Being Monica

Switzerland

2011-03-16T16:54:00.004-05:00

Here are the pictures from Switzerland. Just click on the title.

Paris

2011-03-12T10:43:00.005-06:00

Finally got the pictures from Paris uploaded to a Picasa web album. You have to copy and paste the link or I think if you click on the title of the post it will take you straight to them!

https://picasaweb.google.com/lh/sredir?uname=112232368123559356429&target=ALBUM&id=5583073846574910657&locked=true&authkey=Gv1sRgCNXm7u-ziNOHXw&feat=email

Boots

2011-01-16T16:39:00.008-06:00

I bought a pair of Ugg boots for my trip to Paris/Switzerland. After I got them, what an ordeal that was, I realized it was not the wisest choice of boot selection to make to take to a place that is very wet and snowy. First of all they are suede and anyone with a brain knows suede and water don't play nice with each other and I don't want to ruin a pair of Ugg boots. So my next bright idea is rain boots. So I've been scavenging ebay again ( after I swore off buying boots off ebay ever again.... hey, I guess I didn't learn my lesson) for some cute water proof boots that are still going to be comfortable, and by comfortable I mean cute too, to wear all day and walk around in in case it's raining. And VOILA! I found these cute boots that look really comfortable and warm and they are water proof. Now the only problem is if I can justify spending the money on them. Surely I could keep and wear these for a very long time and the style is classic enough to where they won't go out of style for a while. AND with the amount of rain we've had here lately I think I might just need a pair so I don't ruin all my other shoes. Yeah....I think I just justified them.

The Wonderful Wonderbar

2011-01-04T19:13:00.006-06:00

Anyone heard of the Wonderful Wonderbar? Apparently it's an amazing bar of soap known to transform your skin. I'm a facial product junkie and always looking for a good soap, moisturizer, toner, exfoliator,eye cream...etc.etc.etc. I recently purchased a few items from the Kiehl's line hoping it would clear up these breakouts all over my face( I feel like a hormonal teenager) and I'm a little more than slightly unimpressed. And I had such high hopes too since it came recommended by a couple of people. I've given it a week so for me that's plenty of time to notice some sort of improvement. A brighter complexion, a few less lines, at least ONE less pimple. But no. This Wonderbar claims to give results in 3 minutes! I'm very intrigued. But at 40 dollars a bar ( which looks to be the size of a hotel bar of soap and it's cheapest one) I'm not sure I want to fall for yet another product who promises to clear my skin or make my skin look radiant and doesn't deliver. I want to unleash the majic on my skin.

Check it out for yourself.
http://www.wonderfulwonderbar.com/

Thanks God

2010-08-06T15:18:00.003-05:00

Gary and I are continually amazed at the wonderful blessings in our life. Some people call it luck, some say it's just chance, or we make our own life happen. I choose to praise God for any good that comes our way. There is nothing too small to thank him for. I'm probably weird but Am I the only person who stops and really wants to question the good too? I mean I know it's easy to question God when bad things happen and play the "why me" card but I often wonder "why me"? Why us? What did we do to ever deserves such incredible blessings? I mean in the last year alone we have had such amazing blessings poured over us that it boggles my mind. We aren't even asking for these things! In my twisted way of thinking I start to wonder if it means that a lot of bad is going to come our way......but first,the good. Then I have to remind myself that God is only good and he does not send us good to then send us bad. I don't know. I do know that we surely can't out give God! And I know there is nothing we are doing to deserve it either so it has to be a blessing. Maybe it's like when we give gifts to our kids. When they are so thankful and appreciative it makes us want to give them more. Or even when they don't deserve it, we give it to them anyway because we just love them so much. God Loves us so much and sometimes that truth is almost too much to handle because I know we are sinful people. The truth is I will never understand or know so I will just continue to give God thanks for all these wonderful blessings in our life. Which brings me to why I even wrote this blog.......my hard working husband got another promotion at work. It's unbelievable because he is again one step closer to running his own dealership. He will be the GSM of Champion Toyota! That's the number 2 guy of the store. Not bad for someone who is 37. We give GOD all the glory and thanks and praise!

Pinkalicious

2010-08-01T21:02:00.012-05:00

Or Fancy Nancy? Or Princess? Or no theme so as not to exclude boys? Agh.... who knew planning a 5 year birthday party could be so stressful! I don't usually throw parties for my girls. Not big ones anyway. They are usually pretty low key with just a few family members but this year for Bella's 5th I have decided to do it big! I did gave Hannah a big party with a clown and all her little friends when she turned 5 or 6 so I figured Bella needed one too. This one will include a petting zoo for sure. How fun would that be to have little baby animals running around our back yard for the kids to play with. I just don't know what to do for the "theme". If I do something too girly then it kind of eliminates inviting boys so I'm not sure. I think it could easily get out of hand with wanting to do this and that and then it's this big stressful production and I don't want it to be that either. I just want it to be nice and fun for the kids. We shall see. A few ideas.

Isn't this pretty

Everything can be nice and pink!

Fast/Cleanse

2010-07-19T15:29:00.002-05:00

I decided to try this. I originally thought I would try the master cleanse but upon further reading it did not seem like the best choice for a 1 day fast. The master cleanse actually suggests 10 days! There is no way I would want to go 10 days with-out food. I love food too much! If I had like 30 pounds to lose maybe but I will be fine with just 2-3. Mostly though I just want to feel better. I feel yuck and I'm sure it has to do with eating lots of heavy,unhealthy food ( pf changs,chuy's, a whole package of chocolate chip cookie dough ) in just this last week. And you probably think I'm joking about eating a whole package of cookie dough .......but I'm not. Blech! So I'm thinking a good cleanse will do me some good. I started today and did not have any food until about lunch time when I read further into the master cleanse.....and read further into the one the naturopathic doctor,that I go to,suggests and it's different. Wohoo! I get to start over. Which meant I got to eat! It was so hard going grocery shopping this morning on an empty stomach. Hahaha..... Everything looked good! So I have to go buy the ingredients for this other cleanse which I hope tastes better than the master cleanse recipe because......ick......it made me nauseated. My doctor has a blog though if anyone is interested in reading what she has to say about taking care of your body.

http://excelonhealth.com/wordpress/

Ciao!

Does anyone still blog?

2010-07-15T16:02:00.005-05:00

Or a better question might be does anyone still read blogs? Seems like the fad has passed a little and they aren't quite as popular as they used to be. I guess we have facebook to thank for that because it's kind of like mini blogging and you can post a picture with a title in an instant and catch up on every body's business while catching them all up on yours. All at once. I know there are people out there with very successful blogs but that usually seems to be tied to having a skill like cooking or decorating, or redoing furniture or something like that. All of which I dabble in ( okay fine redoing one desk in 35 years is not considered a dabble ) but I am no expert at anything by any means. I'm no expert at anything. Hmmm..... That's kind of depressing. I'm in my mid 30's, I should be good at something by now, right? Yet, I'm just kind of just not. I waited too long to decide what I wanted to do so I've just been trying to be a good mommy and wife. Unfortunately that does not stand for a lot in the real world. People look down on me because when I say, "I'm a stay home mom" they kind of just look at me like I'm all of a sudden irrelevant. But I really feel blessed to not have to work outside the home because I am my own boss ( well, for the most part ) and I do what I want and when I want ( okay...that's for the most part too ) but I can't imagine having to have some lame 9-5 job that at the end of the day has no real relevance in the grand scheme of things. Family, faith, friends..... that's what matters. Not a job! Thank God I have a husband who takes care of that for us. I get to take care of me and him and the girls. I can't imagine it any other way. So in a way I guess you could say I'm an expert at being a stay at home mom. I've done it for almost 5 years! And I'm alive! That says a lot because being a stay at home mom is a lot of work and it's not for everyone. And now that my little baby girls is going to be 5 and in pre school next year I get to indulge in some things that are all for me! And things that I have wanted to do for a long time and I am excited! I also have some new things that I'm interested in and one is TRAVEL! I hope we get to see more of the world. Travelling to Europe was one of the best experiences in my life. Life changing.

ANTS

2010-04-01T12:14:00.011-05:00

I have not logged into this blog in a while now and I also have not read my friends blogs in a while. Looks like I have many things to catch up on! Not a lot of interesting things going on with the Cliftons. I've been trying to keep myself busy and occupied. I think I literally lost my mind recently. No worries.... I am on the right track to getting it back but it's a slow process. One that requires immense focus and a retraining of my thought patterns. Oh and a lot of pleading with God. And God is good! All the time. Yes, that's another thought I must replay in my head all day long. I had to say goodbye to the ANTS. ANTS stands for Automatic Negative Thoughts. I learned that, courtesy of Dr. Amen from his book regarding Anxiety and how to beat it. It's really interesting to learn that negative thoughts can really wreak havoc on you and your body. There is power to positive thinking and dwelling on truth and scriptures. I've just begun this mind transformation so it's still all new to me and I do have my good days and bad but I'm learning.

Way back when

2010-02-10T14:28:00.003-06:00

In the spirit of Valentines I thought I would post a photo of Gary and me when we were dating. When we were first falling in love. Well actually we were already engaged when we took this photo. I believe it was November 03. It hardly even looks like him anymore...hahaha. I myself have aged a bit and put on a few pounds and marriage and kids must have really stressed him out because he's aged quite a bit! Sorry babe... we don't mean to stress you out.

Redo

2010-02-06T10:40:00.007-06:00

One of the things I love to do most is to redo something. I recovered my dining room chairs last year with some left over fabric my aunt had from the draperies she made me. The fabric is very sensitive so it was not really a good idea. We had a Family Christmas Party last year at my house and by the end of the night my chairs were ruined! I did not treat them with fabric protector so lets just say I learned my lesson. Its been bugging me ever since so I think it's time to redo them again. Yay... a project! This put me on my quest to find fabric. I love looking at fabric on line. I could do it for hours just like I could look at paper on line for hours too. I'm afraid that it will be hard to pick one because there are just so many options. Here are a few so far..... I was wondering if I should go a little more modern than usual because I can always change it later to something a little more classic. But I think I am drawn more to these types of fabric. Not sure what these would be classified as. Old Ladyish? Hahaha

This one reminds me of the pattern of my sofa, love seat and chair. It might be too much of the same.

I don't think I would actually use this fabric on the chairs but I loved the pattern and colors.

This one might be a little much. But I love black and cream together.

I'm no interior decorator or designer by any means so I'm not sure if there are rules to follow when picking a fabric for a certain room. I want it to look nice and not cheesy.

Other's Stupidity

2010-02-06T09:36:00.004-06:00

I don't often or I'm not sure I have ever rambled about the moronic behavior that is Hannah's dad. I try hard not to bad mouth him and I guess I figured that one day he would stop his insanity and grow up. But he has not. And here I am once again having to pay for his stupidity. I try not to let Hannah know how much he annoys me but I'm really starting to wonder if he has mental issues. I'm also starting to wonder if she should even be around him. I mean I know letting a 9 year old glue fake nails on her fingernails with superglue isn't THAT big of a deal. But it's a big enough deal when she's freaking out because I told her she is not going out of the house with them on her fingernails and she can't get them off. DUH! You super glued them to your fingernails child! What were you thinking? Oh that's right you weren't and that's why that man you call your Father should have told you you could not buy them! And where did she put these on anyway? On the sidewalk? When I picked her up yesterday at South Park Meadows she and her dad were sitting on the outside wall of Target with her humongous back pack and about 5 bags. He himself was carrying a backpack and they looked like homeless people. It was a sad sight because he literally is a hop away from being a homeless man. In fact he can't even get Hannah on the weekends anymore because he no longer can afford electricity so his apartment is dark and cold so that's not really an environment that is conducive to raising children. Who can live like that? He has not had electricity since before Christmas! Is that weird or am I just over reacting? How can a 30 something year old single man who only supports himself ( he owes me probably $50,000 in unpaid child support ) not afford electricity? I mean who can live like that? That is just beyond my comprehension. He does not have a car so when he does see Hannah he takes the bus to her school and from there they catch a bus to South Park Meadows area and just walk around for a few hours and hang out. I know she terribly misses her dad and I'm sure he misses her but wuouldn't you think that the love you have for your child would motivate you to better yourself and your life. He has no license, no car, no electricity, no phone, he's about to get kicked out of his apartment. How much lower does he want to go? He does not care about my wishes for Hannah. He lets her see movies that are inappropriate for children and lets her listen to music that is inappropriate for children and he let's her do whatever she wants when she is with him. It's so dangerous. And I am helpless. There is nothing I can do. I will forever have to reap the consequences of my bad choices and not only that.... Hannah will. All I can do is pray that GOD has a handle on it and everything will be fine. In the meantime I hate that I'm STILL having to pay for his stupidity.

We did it

2010-01-31T15:41:00.003-06:00

Well I should say my husband did it. What started out as a story I only intended to share with our Pastor and his wife ( and maybe our small group ) ended today with Gary reading "Our Story" in front of the entire congregation. For both services! A few weeks back I for some reason felt lead to write our financial story. It Documented the impact Dave Ramsey, giving, and God has had on our life. I felt lead to do so after my pastor's sermon a few weeks ago. He was revisiting Dave Ramsey and it's been 2 years since we went through FPU and I was re inspired to continue living Dave Ramsey style. "Like no one else!" After sharing with our Pastor he approached us and asked if we would be willing to share it with the church. Hello! I wanted to tell him he was crazy because I had already annoyed my husband by writing and sharing it with him and my family ( Gary is VERY private) and I told him I would not share with anyone else and here he was asking me to read it to the world! Okay so our church is not the world but it's like 200 people too many. I politely told him there was no way that I could stand in front of the entire church and read it because I would more than likely kill over from nerves alone! Does he not know how I twitch? Haha.... Anyway with out really thinking I jokingly said that maybe Gary could read it( Hello..... am I trying to get divorced!) or even better he could just read it himself. He said no deal because it would mean more coming from us. He liked the idea of Gary reading it and said he himself would edit it down to about a 5 minute story (it was really really long)and reword it coming from Gary's perspective. He said we could take a couple of days to think about it and let him know but that we should say yes and quickly....*wink wink*. He then said no pressure but we really did feel like we could not say no. I mean is it wise to reject your pastor? He's in good with God ya know. But nothing inside my husbands body wanted to do this. He felt it was my story and I wrote it and he didn't really want it shared in the first place. So he did what any decent, loving husband would do and he agreed. Isn't that sweet? I was so proud of him and I assured him I would never get us into this type of situation again! Especially since I myself could not even come through for myself and do what Anthony was asking us to do. We survived though. Yes, it was nerve wracking but I think my nerves are all settled down. Thanks Babe for coming through for us!

I heart shoes

2010-01-29T16:37:00.010-06:00

There I said it. And yes it's shallow and yes I know there are poor people in the world who don't even have a pair of shoes and I really should try to love other things like eating broccoli and flossing my teeth but I just can't help it. Buying a new pair of shoes makes me happy! Buying a pair of shoes on sale makes me even happier! Side note **To be balanced my next post will be about how I support charities or how I recycle okay** I recently went shopping because My Christmas present cancelled his Austin tour date so with the refunded money I went and spruced up my wardrobe a bit. Well I spruced up my pedidrobe.........okay.... I just made that word up for my shoe collection but I am so excited to wear them. Can you believe I did not buy any new boots this winter?? I can't. This has to be the first time in a long time that I went a whole year with out doing so. I was frustrated about not being able to find some so I skipped boots this year and just bought heels instead. I got a new pair of pointy black Nine West Pumps. I bought a camel colored pair of rounded toe Steve Madden pumps and my last pair are some green Mary Jane style shoes from Nine West that I think are just too cute. And they were only $19.99! I'm not sure others will like them though. I'll let you judge for yourself.

Are they old ladyish? Well if so.... I am almost 35.

Almost Christmas

2009-11-28T09:39:00.011-06:00

I can't believe it's almost Christmas again. I think I do this every year. I Marvel at the pace at which life has passed us by as if it's such a surprise. Anyway I wanted to look at some of the pictures I took last year of my house decorations, hoping it would motivate me and excite me to do it all over again. That led to me reading some of the blogs I posted last year about what was going on at the time. It made me realize that it's actually a neat thing to have these blogs to look back on. I really have forgotten about a lot of the things I wrote about. It was almost this time last year when we were hit with the possibility of Gary losing his job and it was such a scary time and here we are a year later and he is thankfully still employed. I started slacking on writing down or writing about our day to day happenings probably because I lost a little desire and I also figured there really was no point to it. But I just realized that I like looking back and reading about our life and it surely served as a great reminder of just how Thankful I am and how worrying really served no purpose. So I've decided to start writing things down again. For me! Well at least that is my hope anyway. We will see how long this renewed desire to document lasts. So okay, back to the post. It's almost Christmas and I did not get that desire to decorate that I was hoping for.....but at least there is an ember burning. Maybe I will listen to a Christmas Song. Or maybe not. I wonder what Christmas song puts people in the mood. The Chrismas Mood! Here is a fun one. It's Frosty the Snowman performed by Fiona Apple. .

October 19th, 2009

2009-10-19T08:19:00.003-05:00

Wow. I can't believe I have not written a blog post in this entire magnificent month of October. Ocotber has long been a favorite month of mine. I also can't believe we are on the down ward slope of the year. Hello...... didn't I just put away all of my Christmas decorations like 5 minutes ago.

My little family is having family portraits taken this Sunday. This makes me quite nervous because none of us are what I would call "photogenic". We all tense up and muster the strainiest of smiles when the camera is about to click. I pray the photographers have some mad photo taking skills and will work some kind of photographer magic to capture some decent photos of us. I hate the way I photograph.....my nose is too large and my chin is too pointy that I feel like I end up looking like the wicked witch of the west. I think I posted about that before. But other than that I am really excited about it because we have never taken professional pics as a family of 4. What do we wear! I feel that will be a major project this week. Picking the outfits.

And if that is not going to keep me busy enough my Purse Party is this Saturday! Well, it's this Saturday if the swine flu does not make an appearance in one of our bodies again. Yep, Hannah had the swine flu a few weeks ago and it really kicked her in the behind. Thank God none of us were infected. Thank God for Hand sanitizer and Lysol becaues I think I just drank it daily to kill any and all sickly germs I may have inhaled while caring for her. So, hopfully all goes well and the party will actually take place.

Gary recovered very nicely from his "surgery" and No,he did not have a Vasectomy! Haha... I had several people think he had one. Trust me....he would have happily taken a Vasectomy over what he actually had and that' all I have to say about that! Well and that I am thankful for all the prayers. I know with out a doubt it was the prayer that allowed everything to go as smootly as it did.

Bella....my sweet Bella. We'll see how she does this week with mothers day out. Girlfriend had a MAJOR meltdown last week and was taken out of class by the teacher because there was just no returning to her normal, sweet, easy going self. Girlfriend was apparently having a bad day in the highest sense of the word. It's hard to see her like that. We'll see how this week goes.

Fiction

2009-09-23T08:34:00.004-05:00

So I think I may have posted before of my disinterest in fiction. However, having read 2 fiction books in the last few months( one I did not care for and one I more so did), I'm finding myself looking for my next book to read. I browsed down the aisle's of the Target book section the other day, picking up numerous attention grabbing titles, just to be disappointed. I was waiting for one to pull at my interest.......and nothing. I considered just holding off since I'm more than likely going to join a " book club" that my best girl friend from back in high school will be hosting but then again I want to read a really well written, not light and fun, piece that I can indulge in on my own. Maybe that's just the loner in me..... Who knows. Anyhow Memoirs of a Geisha keeps popping up in my mind and I think 2 people have recently commented on how great a book it is so I'm thinking of reading that. If you've read it let me know.....if not if you don't mind leaving me a comment with a book recommendation.....I'd truly appreciate it.

Oh and I am just LOVING this gorgeous fall weather.

Time wounds all heals

2009-09-21T11:01:00.001-05:00

And it begins again. If you feel like praying for me that would be greatly appreciated.

What did I get myself into

2009-09-16T13:38:00.013-05:00

I'm not sure if it's common knowledge that I am not the most social person in the world. I think if you have at least met me once that you might catch the drift. Not that I try to emit "stay away from me" vibes or anything but I have been told a time or two that I am kind of just quiet......aloof. Not all there. I assure you, I am. My brain just operates at 500miles an hour and when you are trying to carry on a conversation with me I have wandered off into lala land and that accounts for the blank stare because I probably have no idea what you are talking about. So it's just easier to not talk to people. I can't count the times people have told me they think I'm a snob! Ouch. I'm not a snob, I don't think I am better than anyone else so much as I think that I am not. Going back to, I think it was high school........I've never been one to enjoy being around large crowds, making mindless chit chat about the weather or in high school about getting drunk and partying. It's when I started feeling kind of like an outsider or like something was wrong with me because I did not seem to fit in with all the other kids my age. I had no interest in their immature shenanigans and I guess that made ME weird. Anyway.......WOW.... Okay so just to be to the point.....Yeah, I'm not all that social of a person. Or maybe I am, I just have a hard time finding people I actually can relate to or that I actually want to relate to. Oh my goodness.......maybe I am a snob! It has nothing to do with the fact that I don't like people because on the contrary I do. I like people very much. I just get caught up in this mind game with myself that I won't bother typing out but the scenario typically plays out in my head and usually ends up with....Monica, you're lame and people don't like you. I always think people don't like me....and it probably in turn makes people not like me. You see?? Yes, it's very difficult living with a mind like mine.....but it's what I got and so I must find a way to get on. So all that to say that I somehow found myself organizing and hosting a "party" and I am terrified! I mean what in the world did I get myself into? Oh Dear Lord please give me the brain function of a normal person for this party and let me get through it with as little internal conflict as possible. Agh!!! What if people don't come? I can't believe I am putting myself out there so that when people deny the invite I can carry it all on my shoulders . Then I will really wallow in lameville.

I can't believe I just admitted this for who ever reads this to read. Oh and I was kidding......I'm really listening to you when you talk to me.

; )

4 years ago

2009-09-08T08:26:00.004-05:00

This was me 4 years ago! Not so patiently, and miserably waiting for Bella to make her appearance. I can't even remember how many times people would ask me if I was having twins since my belly was humongous!

So Much I Want to Do

2009-09-02T12:25:00.007-05:00

And so little time. And shall I say more correctly.....so little money. Money shmoney. Why do things have to cost so much? I have caught some sort of "bug" and I can't seem to shake it. Symptoms have been - Wanting to redecorate, wanting to buy more furniture, wanting to buy new bedding for my bedroom, wanting to recover my dining room chairs, wanting to install wood flooring in the entry,dining, and part of the living room that is high traffic, wanting to redo our kitchen cabinets, wanting and wanting and wanting. I better get over this bug quick or I'm likely to get real sick and do something like Charge all these things on a credit card just so I can have it all now. Gasp! What would Dave Ramsey think?? The funny thing is that my hubby is such a softy when it comes to things like this and so when I say......" I want to go buy such and such" he says, "Okay....go get it." So not only do I have to be the one that wants all this stuff, I also have to be the one to say, NO! "Not now honey.....just be patient and we will have all that someday" I have to convincingly say to myself. It's so hard. For now I'll just be thankful that I was able to buy us an entertainment center (something I have wanted for 2 years) and it will be here Thursday. I have had my eye on this piece for 2 years and had hoped the price would come down.....and it hasn't. It's not anything fancy and even at the price it's a great deal compared to all the other similar pieces out there. I hope/think it will satisfy that big empty wall that's been begging to be dressed up.

Back to School Bella Style

2009-08-21T12:09:00.007-05:00

Back Pack - Check
Stuffed Animal - Check
Diamond Tiara - Check
Barbie Laptop - Check

I says she's ready to go.

My girls

2009-08-15T20:38:00.008-05:00

I LOVE THIS PICTURE

Hello

2009-08-15T20:34:00.003-05:00

Something is calling me but I'm not sure what.

5 days and counting

2009-08-04T15:48:00.006-05:00

We leave for our little beach vacation in just 5 days! I think we will have a great time just lounging on the beach and playing with the kiddo's. Hopefully my hard working hubby can get some much deserved rest and relaxation. While I had a "stay cation" of sorts last week, he still had to work and he was insanely busy. You can Thank your wonderful Government for that for implementing Cash For Clunkers with no real plan of how it would actually work out. But it was a great idea and I guess these days we run on ideas only. Who cares about the details.....right? Who cares if there is no system in place to actually handle the program. Needless to say they have been slammed and overwhelmed with all the people trying to take advantage of this deal that all our tax dollars are going to fund. I mean I guess they are thankful for the business( if they actually get paid ) but as with everything government born, there's a headache the size of Africa that comes along with it and everyone there is running around like a...... But anyway I totally digress.....

Vacation! Yes, relaxation! Maybe a trip to Schlitterbahn, some seashell exploring, pairasailing....and who knows what else. Accompanying us will be my little sis Melissa and her fiance and 2 crazy kids. But not the middle sis.....they bailed on us for their own personal reasons, for reasons I do not care to share with my 5 or so readers. But I'm not bitter. I promise. But I will say that I wish they had not bailed on us, but I get it. I hope they have fun in the great state of Alabama on Dauphin Island instead. Seriously. I feel everything always ends up just as it should. There's always next year. Maybe.

Last Year at the Beach

REBORN

2009-07-31T09:15:00.002-05:00

I finished my desk remodel project for my Hannah. She will be so excited to finally have a real desk in her room. I put the final coat of the polycrylic and it is drying as I speak. This sure was a learning experience and I really loved doing the work. I stressed about the quality of my work but had to settle for the fact that I'm not a pro yet so there are going to be a few imperfections. It gives it character, right? My dad stopped by yesterday before it was all the way finished and he was so enthusiastic about it and thought it was just Awesome! He loved it. My Hubby on the other hand never really shared his opinion ( other than to say what was wrong with it) other than he did not care for the decorative paper but said it was fine. My mom stopped by last night and did not really say anything much either, so when I prodded for her opinion, I said, "you don't like it, do you?" To which she wrinkled her face and said, " Why did you put that paper on it?" Hahaha...okay fine whatever, the paper was a mistake. You live and learn right? Then she mustered a, " it looks good".....yeah......right. Her face told a completely different story. But I guess that's what happens when you do something and you put it out there for people to see. They don't have to love it. But I DO.

.

Oops

2009-07-30T15:34:00.007-05:00

Well I have been non stop busy since the little girls left me. This desk remodel played a MAJOR part of that. Silly me thought I could get this "redo" finished in 2 days! My hubby said that was mighty ambitious of me, I just think it was plain old ignorance. I did not want to spend every single one of my free days working and it's exactly what I have done. I have not spent one moment doing something nice and relaxing or pampering to my body or mind. Goodness! Tomorrow is my last day of freedom and I at least wanted to watch a movie or go get a manicure ( you should see my hands)or pedicure or go buy myself something totally self indulgent. Jeez.....I have not even slept in past 6:30. I'm retarded. Well if it means anything I have at least enjoyed redoing the desk. I enjoy learning how to do things and this has definitely been a learing experience since it's the first time I've ever done this kind of work. I LIKE IT! I just wish I had had a whole week to work on it......but Hannah comes home Saturday and I wanted it to be all done and set up in her room when she got back. So, next time I'll know to allow myself more than 2 days to get it done. And next time I will know that wrapping paper is not a good idea to use for decorative touches. The paper part of the desk is a disaster! One I'm afraid that can only be remedied by ordering wall paper ( it's really thick) and praying I can get this other paper off and just redo that for another time. For now the paper will have to do( it's glued on there) with it's air bubbles and wrinkles and all. Eye yi yeye...... That bugs me, but what can I do. Here are some sneak peak pics.

The Color

The Paper and Knobs

Adventures in my own Home day 1

2009-07-28T10:39:00.005-05:00

So life is completely different once you have kids. And you can only know what I'm talking about if you have them. Well for the rest of the week they are with their Grandmama in Pittsburg, TX and I plan to take full advantage of their time away. I cried a few tears even though I told myself not to. Oh well. Now here I am, I can blog with out guilt. I can sleep in if I want. I can pretty much do whatever the heck I want. It's amazing and something that has not happened here in my own home for a pretty long time. I've never been home before with out a kid around. I plan to take full advantage. First up..... CLEANING! I know, I know that does not sound all that glamorous but instead of paying the cleaning lady to come and do it, I will just pay myself that money and do the cleaning in peace and quiet with no kids around and then go shopping with the money I paid myself! Genius isn't it?? Well I think it is.

Update - 2.5 hours later. Note to self.

It's much easier to be on vacation outside the home with out the kiddo's than it is to be just home with out them. I've been cleaning and there are a million reminders of them and I burst out into tears. WHAT?? What's wrong with you! Really?? Get a grip! You'll see them in a few days. Now get back to cleaning and listening to your ipod with no interuptions. That is what you dream about isn't it? A day with no interruptions?? Geeze!

Running through my head

2009-07-25T12:44:00.007-05:00

So many thoughts and not enough time to think them through. So maybe I will jot them down....or type them out. Just real quick.

Death is all around and I keep looking over my shoulder at him. Protect my family and me, LORD!

2 little girls,one just 2 weeks old, and their daddy, Lost their mommy( and wife) way too soon. I pray they all be comforted their whole life by knowing she's in Heaven. My heart aches because I know they'd rather have her here.

There is a time to rest and a time to be busy. Thank you that my time to be busy is behind me and I pray to have a restful remainder of the summer.

Sometimes I forget that not all people live like us( my family) and that what's common to me, can be so foreign to others.

Just because you volunteer and give a lot of your time to things that are bigger than you, does not mean you deserve anything in return. No Prasie, no recognition. Because if you think that you do, you're doing it for all the wrong reasons and will only make yourself bitter.

It was so important to me to be liked by people. Then I realized that I should first focus on liking people.

If you have a problem with people or with people's behavior and things they do drive you crazy or offend, or hurt your feelings...etc. Naturally you want those people to change their ways. Really that's a selfish way of thinking and all you're really saying is their behavior does not satisfy YOU. Why don't you change your own reactions to those things instead of expecting them to change. Really that's all you have control of. Yourself.

Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.
Matthew- 5:9

It's not so important to be understood. More so to understand what is important.

Still Have / Only Have

2009-07-20T17:23:00.008-05:00

Depending on whether you are a pessimist or an optimist.....we still have / only have about 5 weeks left of summer vacation over here. If you are a pessimist then it's a bummer because that means summer vacation is half way over or if you are an optimist it's a good thing because you still have half your summer vacation left.

Regardless, it is what it is.

Lately things have been crazy for me with helping out at the new church property to prepare for our first service in the new place and with decorating for VBS which started today. All I have left of my churchly duties is planning Family Night this Friday to wrap up VBS. The theme is the Australian Outback and we will be having a Sausage Sizzle. I'll make some fruit kabobs and we will have a big jumpy thing and snow cones and lemonade and if all goes well it will be a grand ol time. Then I will undecorate the place and I am DUNZO! I can go back to enjoying my lazy summer days with my girls and I can give my husband back his days off from work instead of dragging him along and helping me out with everything. He's been such a trooper! Amazing really. I don't know what I would do with out my handy husband. Did I tell yall he built me a little contraption for VBS decor to add to the snack room rotation. Yeah.....he's pretty much awesome and got a few job offers. Little do they know he only does these kinds of things for me for extra kisses and I'm sure he will completely hate that I just said that.

: )

Up next -
Grandmama coming to town this weekend and then taking the girls home with her for a few day. OH MY! That means I have 4 days all to myself to do whatever I want. Kind of makes me sick to my stomach and happy all at the same time. I think I will finally redo that desk I have been dreaming about and depending on how smoothly that goes....I might work on that old dresser that has been sitting in our garage for over a year. We'll see. Then we have our beach trip to look forward too as well! Can't wait.

My Sisters Keeper

2009-07-02T15:07:00.003-05:00

Don't worry I don't give any of the story away......

So I read the book My Sister's Keeper over the span of about 5 days. I was not really even sure I wanted to read it but I knew the movie was coming out and I figured I might as well since my mom had the book and books are usually better than the movie. As soon as I started reading it, I wanted to hurry up and finish it. And I don't mean that in a good way. I don't know if it was the style of the writing, or that I read it even though I usually don't like fiction or that it was not something written by C.S Lewis but I was just completely bored. I forced my self to finish it though because I guess I can't just stop something that I started. I have to go full circle. For some reason though I just never really connected to the book or the characters, even though at times the story was very grabbing. I can think of maybe 4 or 5 scenes in the book that were really really good. Other wise the writer fell short for me. I like books whose words come alive and who phrase things so beautifully that it's like reading art. I mean I could still envision what I was reading in my head but they already had faces and to me that took away from it a bit. Most of the time, I was just longing to get to the end so I could know what happens and be done with it. Maybe it was too many story lines going on at once when she could have had a more narrow focus to really make an impact with that story. Don't get me wrong.....I shed some tears but for what that story was, I should have been sobbing. I don't know.....I'm no writer and I am definitely no literary critic either. I'm just a stay at home mom, whom some think rank at the lowest end of the totem pole, who thought it looked like a good movie and possibly a better book but, I was wrong. I don't feel any better or like I improved myself for having read it and so to me it just seems like a waste of time. I wonder if this time the movie might be better.

Que sera sera

2009-06-25T13:47:00.010-05:00

I am bad about writing something on here and then forgetting to follow it up. So for those of you that have asked about the MRI, it came out completely normal. What a huge weight that was lifted off my shoulders. So I can rest assure that there is no degenerative muscle/nerve disease going on like MS, or ALS or Parkinsons. I twitch..... that's all. Thank you LORD!

Now that I know that I am a okay......I surely do have BABY on the brain. I sure do miss Bella when she was little and so cute and I am finding my self seriously wanting a baby again. I mean I love the freedom that I have now, but that will come again in time and 3 just seems like a nice round number. I don't know......... In a week or so.....I'll probably snap back to reality. But just look how cute she was........and Fat!

Bella @ 7 months old

So yeah....it would cause some major changes in our life and would completely throw us upside down for a while......but it's kind of now or never. I'm not getting any younger and it would be our last chance at having that little boy! 3 girls would be totally fine too. We shall see.......

One of a kind

2009-06-21T20:59:00.013-05:00

He simply is the best person I've known my whole life.

He is the glue that held us all together.

He goes above and beyond for his girls and set the bar so high, I'm not sure anyone can ever really reach it.

He's the one that can comfort me, when it seems I can't be comforted.

He's the one that prays and has faith that never waivers when mine is being tested.

He's the one that taught me about God and about his son Jesus.

He's the one that I can go to with my innermost fears ( still) and they will be quieted.

He's the one that I can depend on and he will never disappoint.

He's the one that can make me laugh for days because he mixes up his words or phrases.

He has the purest heart and most humble nature.

He's like no other.

He is my father.

Charming Aliens

2009-06-11T13:27:00.015-05:00

I had an interesting start to my day. I was kidnapped by extra terrestrials and forced upon their spaceship and was subjected to some testing so that they could learn more about my human brain. The aliens were very nice and only slightly ghoulish looking......The one that inserted my IV was tattooed and reeked of smoke so I guess even Aliens can be rebels because it was very clear that he was an " alternative" alien. I wasn't scared but I was quite concerned with what they might find. They had to inject me with some sort of dye but they assured me that the dye was not harmful in anyway, shape or form and would not kill me unless I was allergic. Oh, okay....well inject away then! They said it would help with the images. Okay, okay wait....I wasn't actually kidnapped by aliens. But that's how I felt and I only pretended that's what was going on when I had to have a MRI of my brain done this morning. And aliens did not perform the MRI, it was a doctor. But the part about the being that inserted the IV was totally true. He was covered in tattoos and reeked of smoke! But as I was laying there in this cylinder shaped contraption my brain starting getting imaginative and I was feeling like I was in some sort of space whatsa mathingy. Yes, I might be crazy and maybe the MRI will prove that but most importantly hopefully it will either confirm my worst fears or let me be at peace with normal results. I'm praying for the latter.

After my MRI I treated myself to a Caramel Machiato,( many moons since I had one of those) non fat of course, and headed to do a little retail therapy......ALONE! Oooohhhh....maybe I was/am in some sort of alternate universe.............no, Gary is off today and he stayed home with the girls( they totally missed out on the Aliens) and I ran to a few stores. One which was called Charming Charleys. If you have not been there, you must! It was jewelry and accessories galore and they had some of the cutest shoes and dresses and it was all very reasonably priced. I think I just found my new favorite accessory store. After stopping a few more places, and running into an old high school friend, I headed home. Men sure don't do things the way we women do, do they?? I come home to find Gary napping! Surprise, surprise. Bella was watching a movie and Hannah was just playing in her room. Haha....I just had to laugh. Hey, I'm not going to complain, I had a whole morning to myself and as long as the girls were fed, and safe......Gary did a good job.

So that's been my day. I hope to enjoy the rest of the day hanging out with the family ( when Gary wakes up from his nap) taking it easy and anxiously awaiting my results from the Aliens.... oops......I mean doctors.

Day 8

2009-06-06T21:17:00.003-05:00

Well I would say we are pretty close to being finished. Haha....I say " we" like I did some of the work. Gary's dad has been working hard on this since yesterday morning and managed to get all the tiles cut and layed and my dad did the grout work today( Gary had to work). The tiles that were layed today will have to be grouted tomorrow and Gary's dad has to leave so this means Gary will have to do the last little bit himself. After the grout work will be the caulking and then cleaning the tiles all up and sealing them one last time to keep them shiny. All the major work will be done by Monday and then the counter top people have to come back and buff a few spots that have scratches and finish smoothing in some areas they left unfinished. Goodness.....my kitchen is a MESS! I've been really good though and not stressing about it and being very patient and I know that all this dirt and mess will be worth it in the end when all is said and done. Wednesday the cleaning lady comes so my house should be all spic and span clean and our newly remodeled kitchen can shine! And don't telly anybody but we are totally skipping church in the morning. Shhh....

Here they are

2009-06-03T10:49:00.004-05:00

This will be the back splash. Slate tiles and they all look very different so it's going to add a lot of color to the kitchen since everything else is pretty colorless. I hope it looks good.
The new counter tops are in!

Wow! What an ordeal remodelling can be. We of course are over budget but it has been for things that were unseen. We did not know the backsplash was going to tear out the existing sheet rock which would require new sheet rock in all the back splash areas. Then we had to buy a new faucet because our old one did not have the proper connections to hook it back up. That means I had to run to Home Depot on the spur of the moment and find a new faucet I was going to be happy with and I had to do this pronto because the plumber charges by the hour! After 2 trips to Home Depot we finally got it all installed but I have decided I am going to change it out again. It looks silly with the faucet I picked out. It needs to be a lot bigger. So now I am on the hunt for a new faucet. And who new plumbers were so expensive.....he charged 100/hr! Gary is in the wrong line of work. So what I have learned is to budget probably 10% ( suggested by Sarah H) for just in case things that might happen so you're not stressed out for going over budget.

Remodel day 1

2009-06-01T07:23:00.004-05:00

There they go

Only 1 minor accident involving a hand saw

What a mess

My make shift kitchen for bfast time. Bagels and coffee.

Birthday Dinner

2009-05-30T10:18:00.013-05:00

Waiting for our table at Matt's El Rancho

This is how he always looks
Delicious Fish Tacos with spicy cole slaw and rice
awww
Dad and Mom
I don't know what we are doing here
TThe Carpenters
I had to hold her up she was so drunk....just kidding
The Manager bought me a Mexican Martini to celebrate turning 25 for the 9th time
Come on babe....you know you want a sip

Like Father like daughter

Voracious

2009-05-28T20:01:00.004-05:00

My hubby can't just eat one honey peanut butter and banana sandwhich, he has to make it double decker. Or sometimes he eats 2. Really that's nothing compared to the times he ate 2 hamburgers like it was an appetizer. The boy can eat! A lot! He claims he's a growing boy. I claim he's gonna be a growing boy all right if he keeps eating like that!

The New Do

2009-05-27T12:49:00.010-05:00

I can't even remember the last time I actually had a professional hair cut. It has been years. I have been letting my hair grow out for quite some time now and on the occasions I felt like parting from my split ends I did the chopping my self or let my mother in law ever so slightly trim it. I must say those methods worked out just fine for a while. Then the other night, since I am so confident in my hair trimmimg ability, I thought I could cut a few inches off here and there and shorten it up just a tad. Snip snip. Okay maybe just a little more here......okay now a little more on this side....Oops. Not good! If I kept going at that rate, to make it look even, I would eventually have no hair and my long hair loving hubby( he doesn't have long hair...he loves long hair) would probably see me and weep. So I just stopped. So today I made an appointment at Avant Salon which is a big deal because the last place I went for a cut was super cuts! And before you say....you can't even tell I got it cut, just know that I did. She cut about 3.5 inches and I think I cut about 2 so that's a big difference. Personally I would have gone a little shorter (and I still might) but I have to take baby steps to ease the hubby into a shorter look. Maybe I'll go back in 6 weeks and cut two more inches. And maybe some day I'll even get brave and get a style other than this. Or maybe bangs, or high lights. Maybe.

Design Dilemma

2009-05-24T20:15:00.007-05:00

So we are having our counter tops installed next week.....YAY!!! I'm truly excited. All along I've had this look in my head of what I wanted our kitchen to look like but it's going to be a several step process. What I envision is painting our cabinets a white or off white color in the future but that will probably be the last step in the remodel process. We are installing black granite counter tops and with the white cabinets and black counter tops I envisioned a slate back splash. Can you see it?? The slate back splash is multi colored....it has a lot of color variation from earthy browns to ashy greys. I also have the design of how I want the back splash layed out. However I am starting to worry that my vision might not look right because my hubby seems to think we need to add some black into the back splash to pull it in with the counter top. While I agree it will tie it into the black counter tops I'm not really sure that it's necessary. I think it almost might subtract from the natural beauty of the slate. Sure it might dress it up but I just don't know. So you see, I have a dilemma. I know there are a few of you that read the blog that are designers( sara w. ) or that are into decorating ( amanda g. and elizabeth h. and you sister) out there that can give me their input. Even if you are not a designer or into decorating, I'd still love to hear your opinion. Thanks!

This is the one with black little tiles added to the slate ribbon that will separate the straight tiles from the diagonal.

This is the one that is just all slate tile with a ribbon of smaller slate between the straight tiles and the ones set on the diagonal.

Life

2009-05-19T19:05:00.007-05:00

Life for the Clifton Family has been so crazy and busy the last couple of weeks it seems like there is something to do every single day or evening. Whew..... I am exhausted and I notice when I am exhausted I tend to be more anxious and stressed and my twitching flares up. I am definitely ready for Summer and to slow down! Soccer season has ended, my pilates class ended, my women's weekly bible study has ended, school is ending....Hello relaxing Summer. Or at least that's what I hope for anyway. I am so looking forward to sleeping in and not having to wake up and get Hannah fed and make her lunch and get her to school. Blah blah blah.... anyhow...you get the drift.

I joined the Y in Buda for the Summer time! They have a great little pool area for kids with fun slides and water falls. I figure I could get my yoga/pilates done early in the mornings and then take the girls swimming afterwards. I'm really excited because not only do they have pilates but they have aerobics classes, salsa aerobics, body sculpting, spin classes, kick boxing and tons of other classes. AND my hubby said he would do a yoga class with me on his days off and I think that is going to be so fun! Haha.....but I'm not sure he would appreciate me spilling that little secret. Sorry babe. But you should know by now some secrets just are not safe with me.

And what kind of mother would I be if I did not brag on my kiddos just a smidgen. I'm always a little weary of bragging because it seems when I do then the thing I seem to brag about always goes down hill or I end up eating my words. So I'll just call it....recognizing, or acknowledging a good work. I know I know, roll your eyes but this is what blogs are for right?? I am sooooo proud of Hannah! She did really well this year playing on the Academy league. They worked so hard and she grew 100 times in her ability. Last night at the awards ceremony the last award given by her coach was to a team member that he wanted to recognize because this girl had a positive attitude all the time and never complained and always did what was asked of her and played where she was needed and so on and so on and while saying all this I did not expect him to say her name. So when he did I was just over come with Joy! I think that was the most proud of her that I had ever felt! Well that's not true I was pretty proud of her last Sunday when she was baptized OH and also today when she got an award at school for having All A Honor Roll ALL YEAR!!!! That is no small feat for them. I'm just a proud mama right now and I owe it all to GOD because I know it's by his hand alone that she has had such an amazing year. So there....I'm done being proud. I think I'll just be thankful.

Hannah getting baptized

Ugly Bella

2009-05-09T17:24:00.015-05:00

NO, I'm not calling my beautiful, precious child ugly. I'm just saying........

Fruit Fly, Gnat. Whatever

2009-05-06T20:53:00.003-05:00

For the past week or so we have had a problem with fruit flies. Gnat's. Those freaking little annoying bugs that fly around and for some strange reason that I can never kill. We had this problem last year and I thought I had remedied the problem only to find they have returned. Are they seasonal? I clean my kitchen at least 5 times a day and I spray everything down with clorox spray. I spray lysol on everything, I clean the disposal with bleach and hot water and also with those disposal cleaning packets (I love doing that by the way) that really gets down there and gets all that yucky stuff out. I even cleaned the trash can lid yesterday just to make sure they were not attracted to that. I do keep fresh fruit out on the counter but have done that all year and don't understand why they only now seem to be around. Hopefully it's seasonal but I sure am getting tired of them. I am even embarassed to have small group tomorrow for fear that these little freaky flies might land in someone's hamburger. Ooops. Sorry about that! Anyone else having this problem. They sure are bugging me!

All Good Things Must End

2009-05-06T13:40:00.003-05:00

I really dislike when things I enjoy come to an end. Today was the last meeting for my weekly Bible Study I have been doing for the past 10 weeks. I so thoroughly enjoyed these lessons and learned a lot from it. Now I may not have perfected implementing it all into my daily life just yet but it surely is something I will keep working on. I KNOW I've grown in my faith and I am way more trusting in GOD than before we started. I think I have a better understanding of who GOD is and who I am. The lessons were so beautiful and eye opening and the lady that wrote the curriculum is brilliant! I also got to know a few ladies that go to my church but I've never really spoken to and gained so much from each of them. It was a great group of ladies. And now it's ending and I am a bit sad. And not just this but my Pilate's class that I have also been doing the past 10 weeks is ending on Friday. I have enjoyed the Pilate's as well and not only was it a chance for me to gain some strength in my body but also was a chance for me to sort of rekindle an old friendship. My best friend from junior high and high school( we were inseparable) and I took this class together. We had lost touch through out the years and reconnected through facebook! I enjoyed getting to see her every week and chat through our pain.......I mean Pilate's. Surely we will keep in touch but again it just sort of makes me sad when something has to come to an end. It's kind of like a chapter is ending and I don't quite know the title to the next one.

I am thankful for both of these opportunities and feel like I have grown in faith and body and I can tell I am stronger. I can't wait to see what the next few months will have in store. It is going to be Summer soon so I know it will be interesting. Thank you GOD for these 2 wonderful experiences I got to enjoy and I'm trusting you that great things are still to come. Happy Wednesday!

But I NEED it

2009-05-02T15:23:00.003-05:00

Okay well I don't NEED it, but I sure, really do want it. Thanks to Amanda G and Karina B, all I can think about these days is getting me a new wallet. It just so happened that I was considering replacing my old one because it does not match my purse all that well. Now, not just any wallet will do. It has to be A Hobo International Lauren clutch wallet. I feel like that little boy from A Christmas Carol that wants that red rider bebe gun and it's all he can think about. But at least I won't shoot my eye out. These little thingys are amazing! And if you've seen the contents of my wallet and if you want to be right you will agree that I NEED one.

Out with the old

2009-05-01T13:56:00.018-05:00

This is our current countertop in our kitchen. I'm not going to say white ceramic tile as a countertop and back splash is hideous because we all have our "taste" but it just doesn't work for me. The grout is dirty and dirt and stains show up no matter how many times a day I spray them with clorox cleaner. I did not like it when we bought the house and it was one of the things we said we were going to change. And I am happy to say.....It's time for that change!

This is also the sink that was in the house when we bought it and it's old and also stained and despite the fact that I too spray this many times a day with the clorox bleach cleaner, it just does not stay white and sparkling clean. So that's a changing too!

But I have to say that my least favorite part of the kitchen is the backsplash. I just laughed when I saw it when we looked at this house because the house we had before this one had the same exact tile backsplash ( except blue ) and we had to change that one out too. Bye Bye green tiles.

I can't wait to have our new and improved kitchen. We picked out our counter top and it's a beautiful black granite. Upon first glance you would just say it's black but it has some beautiful color variations that will go nicely with our stainless steel appliances. The official color of it is black pearl. The new backsplash will be slate tiles that also have lots of color variations that will pick up some of the color in the countertop. Here is the granite.

I ordered our sink online yesterday which is also a black granite sink. I unfortunately was not able to get either one of the ones I posted on but the one I did get was more similar to the top picture than the bottom. It also is bigger than the other 2 and we got it at a GREAT price with free shipping! Can't beat that. I am so excited to get started and see it all together. I hope it looks as nice in reality as it does in my head! I am sure there will be more posts to come about the remodel. Especially since my jack of all trades husband decided to do the demolition part himself to save us a little money. So yeah, he'll be tearing out old contertops and backsplash, and removing the old sink. I'm only slightly nervous.

HELP

2009-04-30T13:36:00.010-05:00

I'm totally copying Sara H. in asking for help with something I can't seem to decide. I go back and forth on which sink to go with for our new kitchen remodel. They are only slightly different but the top one is about 60 dollars cheaper and slightly smaller. Gary likes the bigger, I like thesmaller because it's cheaper. I can't decide!

Time for a New Look

2009-04-23T13:55:00.004-05:00

I was playing around with new blog layouts today and spent way more time on it than I should have. Something about Bella's nap time makes me want to veg out in front of the computer and check facebook, emails, read the news of the day....all with out interruptions. Very relaxing. This is what I came up with ......well I didn't come up with it....I just found it and copied it. I love changing things around. I love making things pretty and the best part of changing your blog up is that it's free! Now only if it were that easy to change myself up or my house like that. Wouldn't it be so much fun if one day you just get tired of the look of something like your bedroom or kitchen or your wardrobe and Voila! A Whole new look for free. Yes, I think I could live that for sure.

Nobody did it

2009-04-16T17:18:00.004-05:00

It's always very interesting to me when strange things happen around here and nobody is to blame. Does nobody live in every one's house? I made some cupcakes today for small group and have them sitting on the stove all nice and neat. I happen to notice that 2 cupcakes have little bitty finger prints on them and I know I did not put them there. I casually say to Bella, " Bella, do you know who put these fingers in the cupcakes?" She immediately said, "Hannah". So I ask Hannah the same thing and she says she has no idea, maybe Papa! Yeah right, he was not even home when I noticed it. Some one is LYING! Both of them are sticking to their story that they did not do it. I have my suspicions and mom's suspicions are pretty much always right. But I don't want to out right call one a liar when I really don't know. What do you do when you know one of your children is lying. It makes me sad. I like honesty at all costs.

Surprises

2009-04-16T10:49:00.005-05:00

I am not big on Surprises. I always seem to find out before I can actually be surprised. It's strange. I guess it's hard to hide things when you're married, especially when you are in charge of balancing the check book. You're going to see the evidence. Duh! Anyhow our 5 year anniversary is tomorrow and we do plan on going out to dinner just to quietly celebrate. We already had our big "celebration" when we went away last month to the Mississippi Coast and so I was not really expecting gifts. To me that vacation was our gift but my kind hearted husband had a few surprises, or not so surprises, surprises and I accidentally found them both before he could give them to me. The first was that he had taken my wedding band ( I have not been able to wear it for months) to the jewelry shop to be repaired. The ring actually snapped apart and one of the diamonds fell off and I have been too cheap to take it in to get repaired so he did it for me. I thought that was sweet even though I would not have wanted to spend the money on it for me. Then I got surprise # 2 in the mail yesterday afternoon( he said he thought he'd be able to intercept it) The new or updated CHLOE! It's one of the 2 perfumes I have been wanting and he got it for me. I love it! I love love love perfume. I feel so loved when people buy me things. Thanks babe!

Easter Sunday

2009-04-14T07:46:00.012-05:00

We had a great Easter Sunday. We got to sleep in because we had the Sunday off from greeting which is a big treat for us. We went to late service and I must say Anthony's Sermon was really good. I was a little skeptical about him doing an easter sermon based on a movie we had not even seen so we stayed up late the night before and actually watched Slum Dog which turned out to be a really great movie. Loved it. I'm glad we watched it. After church we spent time at my sister Michelle's house eating, hanging out, and watching the kids hunt for eggs. We did not have the confetti eggs this year. We completely dropped the ball on that. After indulging in some delicious key lime pie we headed out to conclude our evening at another church service just down the road from our house, called Austin New Church. This church to me really epitomizes what a church should be. They are so active in serving others and the community and it's very inspiring to me. My Best Friend of my younger years ( middle and high school) invited us to see her and her husband give their "story" of how they were disconnected from church for so long until they discovered this new church and how they have been healed or are in the process of healing from their past hurts ( from their church) and how their faith and love for Christ has been resurrected/restored. How appropriate for an Easter Service. It was very moing. Anyway it was a great ending to the day and I got to hear Amazing Grace ( well Chris Tomlin's version anyway) and I just love that song. What Amazing Grace we receive! And all because he loves us that much.

The girls Easter Baskets

So much fun to look for the eggs

my easter girls

Praise God

2009-04-09T20:29:00.005-05:00

So things went well at my dr.s appointment. He did the nerve/muscle testing on my right arm and said from what he could tell things looked normal and healthy. He did not see any reason to test any of the other limbs. The test it's self was pretty uncomfortable so I was fine with that. They basically sent electricity through my body and shocked the nerves to see if they reacted normally. OUCH! It was freaky. I thought my normal twitching was bad....this was like...WHOA! Then he had to insert needles into about 6 different muscles along the hand arm and neck and test the muscle for any abnormalities. That was not fun either. It was kind of like acupuncture but much worse. He said he had no reason to suspect muscle or nerve disease but did say that limbs can be affected differently. For instance one limb of the body could test normal while another might not. But since none of my limbs showed clinical muscle weakness or wasting he had no reason to believe further testing was needed. He said he is pretty confident of the initial diagnosis of Benign fasciculation syndrome being accurate. He did say that if his prognosis was not good enough for me that he could refer me to a neurologist for extensive testing on all limbs and also the tongue! Eww.... I think I'll pass for now. I told him if he was sure that I did not "need" further testing that I was fine with that. Further down the line if things get worse or I start having more symptoms not related to BFS I can choose to do testing then. SO....for now I am just going to sit confident in his diagnosis and leave this in GOD's hands.....not that it was not in his hands all along, but I am just going to move on. Will I have my freak outs when my muscles are jumping all over the place...maybe but I think I will be okay. He did suggest a seizure medication that has been known to help with muscle twitching but I am not one to jump to quickly to drugs. I have researched a few natural/homeopathic remedies that I think I want to try first. So we shall see. Thanks for all the prayers and for those of you that encouraged me to stay positive and trust in GOD. I am sure it's through the faith of all of you that I am okay. Praise GOD!

I'm not Crazy

2009-04-08T15:57:00.008-05:00

Tomorrow I have my EMG/NCV Nerve testing. There is no way I can put in words (it would take about 25 hours) the worry/anxiety that this little test has put me through. Well not so much the test but what has led up to the test. It seems like it's been a long, drawn out process that has required me to play a lot of the waiting game. I'm not good at waiting. It's a form of torture if you ask me. I'd rather shovel dirt piles than have to wait to find out my fate. For me, the unknown is scary and not only that, things I have no control over literally drive me insane. Literally. I like to be in control...in the know of what is going on with myself especially if it concerns my health. I know it probably sounds funny but I assure you there is nothing funny about hour after hour after hour of worrying about something. The what ifs, the agonizing over the what ifs about the what ifs. It's been a torturous cycle. It has brought me to sheer panic plenty of times because the reality of not knowing is just too unbearable. And worst...thinking that the worst possible scenario I can come up with in my mind might actually be true. The Good news is that I have looked at these last few weeks as a growing process. A challenge. A test of my faith. Can I trust GOD? Is he Good? Can I put my life completely in his hands( for better or worse) and no matter what the outcome still believe he is an ALL loving God and one that will never forsake me? These are the hard questions I really had to ask myself? And those are not easy questions.

So now what? Well I have come to terms with the diagnosis I have been given. Benign Fasciculation Syndrome. It's basically a nerve disorder that causes twitching all over my body and can also cause shakiness, muscle fatigue, muscle spasm/cramps, itchiness, headaches and some other annoying things. I have all the symptoms! So the test tomorrow is to rule out any major muscle/nerve disease like multiple Sclerosis, Lou Gherig's disease and some others. The specialist I met with last week seems to think I have none of those horrible diseases and is almost 100% positive it's just the Benign Fasciculation Syndrome. The testing will give us that confirmation or not. So I pray for a normal EMG/NCV test and can live with the twitching and all those other annoying symptoms as long as it means I am not going to become cripple or die from a horrible disease. While there is no known cure for BFS it is an acknowledged disorder and that gives me some peace because I really was starting to think all these symptoms I was having were in my head and now I realize they were not. I'M NOT CRAZY! Isn't that great??

Things I am Thankful For

2009-04-01T17:42:00.009-05:00

1. GOD's Love - simply because he is who he is. Through my worry, through my lack of faith, through my pain, or through my praise. His love does not change,it remains the same. It never fails.

2. Answered Prayers.

3. Normal Blood Test Results after a week agonizing over abnormal blood test results.

4. Counseling. Specifically the Counselor.

5. Letting go of pride. It could possibly be the most deadliest sin.

6. Being able to take my girls to the park and play with them outside and just breathing them in, as they are being kids.

7. Watching Bella play and dance and smile when she does not realize I am watching her. This can bring me to tears.

8. Emotions. It's okay to be emotional and show your emotions. But not letting them lead my train but learning how to reposition them behind Scriptures, Truth, and God's Will.

9. My weekly womens book/bible study. Again, more specifically the women in the group. I have been so fortunate to share some time with some really amazing women and have learned so much from this study and from them. I am just enamoured with Alicia Britt Chole who is the lady that is doing the dvd based lesson. I still have not found the right words to describe her or my feelings for her. And If I had the power to carry her around with me all day long I would, but I don't so I'm hoping that her words will sink in and take root.

10. My family. My Husband - for always keeping a positive outlook on things. My Dad - for his ability to calm my fears, worries and anxiety and his Strong Faith in the Lord. My mom - for surprising me all the time with her devotion to her girls through her kind gestures. I know that her and my dad would do anything for me. ANYTHING! My Sister Michelle - for praying for me and for being the person I can talk to. Melissa - for letting me be silly and her ability to always make me laugh. Hannah - for her desire to know GOD and what he wants for her in her life and for her words of wisdom at times even though she is only 8 years old. And Bella - For her hugs and kisses and for the constant joy she brings to my heart. A joy so powerful that it can almost be healing.

I was just feeling extra Thankful today. Praise GOD.

Black or White

2009-03-25T16:01:00.007-05:00

You know sometimes situations arise and you are forced to make a decision but it just does not seem like there is a clear right or wrong thing to do. I have a scenario and let's just call it hypothetical. Okay let's not call it that because it is actually a real scenario and I really am torn on what the "right" thing is to do. I'm not even sure there is a right or wrong thing to do.

So we have this lady that we have been using that comes and cleans our house once a month. She does the major things that I just don't have time for, well I should be completely honest she comes and does the things I am too lazy to do. I have the time, I just don't want to do it. But I digress..... I started using her after my mom some how started using her and she was also cleaning my sisters house so I figured she could be trusted. She was not with an agency or anything and while I never out right asked my mom if she was "illegal", I knew there was a chance that she was but you never want to assume that just because someone is mexican and speaks only spanish and demands to be paid in cash.... that they are illegal. So anyway in talking to my sister today she made a comment and I already forgot how it even got brought up but that my mom had told her that this lady in fact is illegal and that her husband had gotten deported back to mexico and she is trying to hire someone " A COYOTE", I've never heard that word before, but she was trying to hire one to get her husband to smuggle him back to the US. WHAT??? Okay so here is where I wrestle with what the right thing is to do. Do I keep employing someone I know is here working and living illegally??? Is that wrong? Can I get in trouble for that? Am I breaking a law?? Or do I just help her out and give her work because she does have a little boy to feed?? She brought him here one time while she cleaned. Doesn't GOD command us to love thy neighbor above all else?? Wouldn't it be cruel to tell her.....Sorry lady you can not come clean my house because you are living and working here illegally. To me that just seems mean. Yet, am I breaking some kind of law by fully knowing I am paying someone that is here illegally for a service to benefit me. I don't know....I just don't know if there is a wrong or right. To me it seems like the right thing is to not employ her anymore but then it makes me feel bad for thinking that is the right thing to do. Maybe it's not. I honestly don't know. Sometimes things are not so black and white.

For Michelle

2009-03-24T15:47:00.002-05:00

Create Your Own

Our Trip

2009-03-23T18:43:00.001-05:00

RELAXING

Finally here

2009-03-13T10:51:00.004-05:00

Our 5 year anniversary trip is finally here. It seems like we have been thinking about this trip for quite a while. I'm excited and nervous but just so you know, NO I don't feel bad. This morning my mom asked me if I felt bad for going on this trip and leaving the girls. To which I replied, NO! I don't feel bad, but I am a little sad. Should I feel bad?? I mean it's not like Gary and I leave the girls all the time. We've never left them except for 1 night last year to celebrate our 4 year anniversary when we stayed down town. So no, I'm not going to feel bad for this one. I think we deserve a few nights to ourselves. I do pray that Bella will be okay because she is pretty attached to me and does not usually fall asleep unless I am beside her. If she is exhausted she will. Anyhow tomorrow we leave and will drop the girls off at his parents, stay the night there and take off early Sunday morning. We'll make the 8 hour drive to Biloxi to make it in time for check in. I know, Biloxi is not the ideal place to go for a romantic get away but it was to us the best place to go with in driving distance from his parents where we could still be on the beach and in a nice little city as well. They have a casino and spa in the hotel so we will have plenty to do. Anywhere Gary and I have ever gone together we have had a great time and just make the most of it. This morning I was remembering our trip we took to New Orleans when I was pregnant with Bella and we had the best time ever. I loved that city and almost considered going back but decided to go some place new. We've been to New Orleans twice already and I think we have had some our our best meals in that city! I love it, it's so romantic. I hope to go back there some day. We've already done FL. and we considered TN but there are no beaches in TN so Mississippi it is. I figure one day we will do a couples spa package and get massages and one day if the weather permits we could just hang out all day on the beach. Maybe catch up on some reading, maybe play a game of scrabble, maybe just nap! Who knows. I know they have a casino in the hotel we are staying so I'm sure we'll do a little gambling, but probably just on the slot machines. We're not big gamblers. I know we will have a good time and just get to enjoy each others company for a few days with out any kids distracting us. Not that we don't love them but if you have kids, you know what I mean. Pray we have safe travels.

Interview with the little ones

2009-03-11T16:46:00.003-05:00

So I saw this cute little Q&A that you are supposed to do with your kids. We had a fun time with it last night and I thought it was just a fun thing to sit down and do together. I loved hearing the girls answers.

1. What is something mom always says to you?
H - No!
B - Uh...I don't know?

2. What makes mom happy?
H - When I make good choices.
B - When I say I love you.

3. What makes mom sad?
H - When I'm not making good choices.
B - When I don't say I love you.

4. How does your mom make you laugh?
H - When you dance.
B - When you say something funny.

5. What was your mom like as a child?
H - Uh...I don't know......thin?
B - When I be good.

6. How old is your mom?
H - 33
B - I don't know.....28.

7. How tall is your mom?
H - 4 feet something
B - Uh...I don't know........like this tall ( uses her hands to show me how tall)

8. What is her favorite thing to do?
H - Go on the computer
B- Play a game with me

9. What does your mom do when you're not around?
H - Play with Bella
B - Um, fold clothes every day.

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
H - Um, comedy because you're funny.
B - I don't know.

11. What is your mom really good at?
H - Playing Scrabble
B - Playing candyland

12. What is your mom not very good at?
H - Cooking rice
B - Not High Ho Cherry O

13. What does your mom do for a job?
H - Uh, I don't know really.
B - I don't know....folding clothes?

14.What is your mom's favorite food?
H - Uh, I don't know because you never told me
B - Um, carrots.

15.What makes you proud of your mom?
H - She's an Awesome mom
B - I don't know........when you play with me.

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?
H - Rosalina ( I have no idea )
B - Um, The Island Princess ( Barbie Movie)

17. What do you and your mom do together?
H - Help me with my homework
B - Play

18. How are you and your mom the same?
H - We both have Brown hair
B - We both have brown hair

19. How are you and your mom different?
H - Mom is thin and I am not. : (
B - Because God made us different and I suck my thumb!

20. How do you know your mom loves you?
H - Because she says so.
B - Because I say I love you

21. What does your mom like most about your dad?
H - His hair????
B - Uh, I don't know.

22. Where is your mom's favorite place to go?
H - Serranos
B - The grocery stores.

Seasons

2009-03-10T15:24:00.003-05:00

Have you ever felt like God was doing things in your life that you are not yet aware of or ready to know about. I feel like right now I am in a season of growing. I take that back, I feel like God is preparing me for growth in all areas of my life. It's like he's tilling the soil and making sure it's ready for the seeds to be planted. You can throw seeds in the wind and hope that when they land, they might take to the ground and produce. That's not very deliberate though. Every area of my life right now is under some sort of counsel or training. I've never been in this position before. It's weird and I'm not even sure I'm making sense but I sure do feel GOD working in me. Like never before.

Longing

2009-03-04T17:57:00.001-06:00

He just sits like this and stares out the window. I wonder what he thinks.

Water with a twist

2009-03-03T17:43:00.010-06:00

I love the Glaceau Vitamin Waters. They have lots of different flavors to choose from and I like that not only are they mildly flavored, but they also have different "kicks" to them. If you feel like you are needing some vitamin C you can drink the one with vitamin C. They are all taylored with a specific need in mind. Love them! I try to buy them when they are on sale at target for 1 dollar each which is kind of pricey but I have seen them as high as a dollar fifty. Part of the appeal may also be imagined (imagine that) but I swear I feel better after I drink one. My favorite is the xxx triple antioxidants and the one with potassium is really good too. I've had several and I have liked them all. If you're bored with plain old water you should check them out.

That's a tasty burger

2009-02-28T18:02:00.004-06:00

Every now and then I get on a hamburger kick. Twice in 2 weeks I have been craving a hamburger and so I tried 2 new places that recently opened up here. The first was Mighty Fine Burger and the other was Karl Jr's. Mighty Fine was first and while I think the quality of meat was excellent, I think the burger was a little messy for me. I guess that's my fault because I like everything on them....except ketchup. The fries were pretty good and they went well with the burger but I think I might have preferred that burger just with the meat and cheese only. Skip all the other stuff because I think the star of that burger is the meat. It was also a little pricey But I guess worth it for the quality of meat. On a scale of 1-10, I would give it an 8.

Karls - I had this burger today and I thought it was excellent! It had a great taste even though I could tell the quality of meat was not as good as Mighty Fine. But just over all to me it tasted better and I had everything on this one as well and it all went perfectly together. I enjoyed this burger to the very last bite! The French Fries were delicious and I completely enjoyed my meal. On a scale of 1-10, I give this burger a 9.5!

My only concern was that I ate the Karls burger while in an extremely starving state. My morning started at 5:30 and I only had a banana for breakfast because we were rushing to get to San Antonio by 8 for Hannah's soccer game. Gary could not come since he works Saturdays. I had minimal coffee and was exhausted and spent half the day in San Antonio in freezing, windy conditions. The soccer field parking lots were white rock and dirt paved lots and the extreme wind caused nothing but dust and dirt and debris to be flying in the air and I could not even tolerate it and had to sit in the car for 2 soccer games with Bella while Hannah played her games. Then we had to endure 7 mile bumper to bumper traffic just to get to McDonald's for a 2nd breakfast ( only the girls ate ) in between the 2 games and needless to say I had a horrible, horrible day. I was miserable the entire time. Are you playing your violin yet??? Returning to Austin and eating that burger felt like Heaven to me. So Karls may have had an unfair advantage! I guess the only way to know for sure is to eat them both again!

ps - Thank you to my wonderful father for accompanying me today.....he let's me be grumpy and he let's me complain and NEVER ever, not even once makes me feel bad for doing so. Aren't dads the best?

The Real Cliftons

2009-02-25T12:40:00.002-06:00

Here or There

2009-02-21T16:19:00.010-06:00

My mind is playing a serious game of back and forth here. Should we do this? Or that? Shall we stay here or go there? Is she too young? If we wait, will she be too old? Why? Why? Why? Why is it so hard for me to just decide and move on. Why do there have to be so many scenarios to consider? Wouldn't it be grand....if I could just decide. Is there a wrong and a right? I just don't want to make the wrong choice I guess and there ya go. I think I just answered my own question with my questions.

Me: Thanks!
Myself - No problem...anytime.

Dear me I must be losing my mind. Or maybe I'm just trying to find it. Either way some days I'm coming and others I'm going so I guess it's hard to tell. Sometimes up is down and down is up and if you look all around you might just get dizzy.
Ha Ha......ouch. I'm sore......loved pilates! It made me feel in places that I didn't know could feel. Oh ......wow I had muscles there......didn't know. Now I know.

Gary wants to go away for our 5 year anniversary and I simply can not decide what to do. Does that mean I don't really want to go? Is it worth it? Should we just save that money instead? The Beach? Tennessee? MS? Florida? See...... I can't decide. He says he does not care where we go as long as it's somewhere that our kids are not. That's mean. No it's not! I mean we LOVE our kids but we also enjoy being around just each other too. We mostly just want to relax and hang out and just have a good time and do whatever and I already said relax but that's what we want to do. What to do, what not to do? Decisions, decisions.

There is a list, about 20 feet long, of things that have yet to be decided on. I guess somethings need extra thought and others need hardly any and I just can't decide about some of them right now. I mean with somethings I can make up my mind like that! And like that.....sometimes I can't. I did figure out I have a hard time figuring out what to do sometimes . I want to do what's best for us because the best means I made a good choice. I don't want to say.....oh man, we should have done this or that instead of that or this. Ya know? So you see, that is the problem and it's not like it's a tragedy or like I have to decide if I'd rather save my left or my right hand so in the grand scheme of things I guess it will be okay. Right? or Wrong? Decisions are what they are unless they aren't and so we must make them or not make them but either way you have to live with or with out the consequences of those decisions or non decisions. So there it is. Or is it?

Do you feel sorry for what Gary has to put up with??
: )

Numinous Awe

2009-02-16T13:38:00.010-06:00

I bought this book The Complete C.S Lewis Signature Classics and have been anxiously waiting to read it. It has about 7 of his books all in one, two of which I have already read ( Mere Christianity, A Grief Observed) but finally was able to start it and I chose to start with The Problem of Pain. I am on the 2nd chapter and I am already blown away by it. Blown Away. I do not understand why everyone has not read C.S Lewis. I think it should be required reading when becoming a Christian. He has the most perfect ability to make some of the most valid questions a Christian or even non christian might have and explaining it to it's core in a way that our minds can grasp. Well at least he does this for me. If ever I could use the word brilliant, on him would it be most appropriate. I can't even seem to move past this one paragraph because I am just in awe of his writing. It's weird. I could almost say I love this man and I don't even know him. Well not physically anyway. I kind of do feel like I know him. I think I might be obsessed with him...haha. It's amazing to me that a writer or anyone for that matter could have this much of an impact on me. The book that I just finished ended with the last few moments of C.S Lewis life and I actually cried. Real Tears. He's just a brilliant man.
Here are the last few paragraphs that I just read that just has me in awe again of him and his writing. He's trying to explain GODS power and that saying in scripture that with GOD all things are possible.

It is common enough, he says, in argument with an unbeliever, to be told that God, if He existed and were good, would do this or that;and then,if we point out that the proposed action is impossible, to be met with the retort "But I thought God was supposed to be able to do anything". This raises the whole question of impossibility.

His Om-nipotence means power to do all that is intrinsically possible, not to do the intrinsically impossible. You may attribute miracles to Him, but not nonsense. This is no limit to His power. If you chose to say, "God can give a creature free will and at the same time withhold free will from it", you have not succeeded in saying anything about God;meaningless combinations of words do not suddenly acquire meaning simply because we prefix to them the two other words "God can". It remains true that all things are possible with God:the intrinsic impossibilities are not things but nonentities. It is no more possible for God than for the weakest of His creatures to carry out both of the two mutually exclusive alternatives; not because His power meets an obstacle, but because nonsense remains nonsense even when we talk it about God.

He also says - The absolutely impossible may also be called the intrinsically impossible because it carries its impossibility within itself, instead of borrowing it from other impossibilities which in turn depend on others. It has no unless clause attached to it. It is impossible under all conditions and in all worlds and for all agents. "All agents" here includes God himself.

Isn't that good stuff?? I can't wait to finish the book.

The Sack Lunches

2009-02-15T13:07:00.004-06:00

This is an email that was forwarded and I don't usually read forwards much less forward them. For some reason I read this one and it really struck me. I admire so much men and women who serve this country and basically write a blank check to the United States of America in the sum or their life! I don't know if it's a true story or a made up story but I'm sure things like this happen all the time out of the generous hearts of men/women.

The Sack Lunches

I put my carry-on in the luggage compartment and sat down in my
assigned
seat. It was going to be a long flight. 'I'm glad I have a good book
to
read Perhaps I will get a short nap,' I thought.

Just before take-off, a line of soldiers came down the aisle and
filled
all the vacant seats, totally surrounding me. I decided to start a
conversation. 'Where are you headed?' I asked the soldier seated
nearest
to me.

'Petawawa. We'll be there for two weeks for special training, and then
we're being deployed to Afghanistan

After flying for about an hour, an announcement was made that sack
lunches
were available for five dollars. It would be several hours before we
reached the east, and I quickly decided a lunch would help pass the
time..

As I reached for my wallet, I overheard soldier ask his buddy if he
planned to buy lunch. 'No, that seems like a lot of money for just a
sack
lunch. Probably wouldn't be worth five bucks. I'll wait till we get to
base '

His friend agreed.

I looked around at the other soldiers. None were buying lunch. I
walked
to the back of the plane and handed the flight attendant a fifty dollar
bill. 'Take a lunch to all those soldiers.' She grabbed my arms and
squeezed tightly. Her eyes wet with tears, she thanked me. 'My son
was a
soldier in Iraq ; it's almost like you are doing it for him.'

Picking up ten sacks, she headed up the aisle to where the soldiers
were
seated. She stopped at my seat and asked, 'Which do you like best -
beef
or chicken?'

'Chicken,' I replied, wondering why she asked. She turned and went to
the
front of plane, returning a minute later with a dinner plate from first
class. 'This is your thanks.'

After we finished eating, I went again to the back of the plane,
heading
for the rest room. A man stopped me. 'I saw what you did. I want to
be
part of it. Here, take this.' He handed me twenty-five dollars.

Soon after I returned to my seat, I saw the Flight Captain coming down
the
aisle, looking at the aisle numbers as he walked, I hoped he was not
looking for me, but noticed he was looking at the numbers only on my
side
of the plane. When he got to my row he stopped, smiled, held out his
hand,
an said, 'I want to shake your hand.'

Quickly unfastening my seatbelt I stood and took the Captain's hand.
With a booming voice he said, 'I was a soldier and I was a military
pilot.
Once, someone bought me a lunch. It was an act of kindness I never
forgot.' I was embarrassed when applause was heard from all of the
passengers.

Later I walked to the front of the plane so I could stretch my legs.
A man who was seated about six rows in front of me reached out his
hand,
wanting to shake mine. He left another twenty-five dollars in my palm.

When we landed I gathered my belongings and started to deplane.
Waiting just inside the
airplane door was a man who stopped me, put something in my shirt
pocket,
turned, and walked away without saying a word. Another twenty-five
dollars!

Upon entering the terminal, I saw the soldiers gathering for their
trip to
the base. I walked over to them and handed them seventy-five dollars.
'It
will take you some time to reach the base. It will be about time for a
sandwich. God Bless You.'

Ten young men left that flight feeling the love and respect of their
fellow travelers. As I walked briskly to my car, I whispered a prayer
for
their safe return. These soldiers were giving their all for our
country.
I could only give them a couple of meals.

It seemed so little...

A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life,wrote a blank check

made payable to 'The United States of America' for an amount of 'up to
and
including my life.'

That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who
no
longer understand it.'

Valentines Day

2009-02-12T14:18:00.006-06:00

Every year when Valentines day rolls around I have such ambivalent feelings towards it. I mean, shouldn't vday be everyday? I also have a hard time thinking of it as a guys holiday. I mean do guys want a valentines gift? Or could they care less? In the past I have done things like make Gary some chocolate covered strawberries but I don't think I have ever bought him anything. Oh, except one time I did get him some white boxers that said I love you all over them in red lettering. BUT HE HATES THEM AND NEVER WEARS THEM! Haha. And they were even from Banana Republic. So I don't know, am I lame for not getting all into it and not wanting to go out and buy him something? What do you do for your significant other? Is it a big deal?

Okay a few more

2009-02-08T16:24:00.002-06:00

So after reading so many different people's 25 things, I realized mine were like skimming the top layer of a many layered cake. So I wanted to add a few more a' la Sara wingfield. So this is the 2nd layer.

1. I am a hard person to get to know. I don't feel like many people know the Real me. I don't let my guard down very easily or at all and because of this it is hard for me to form friendships. I mean, real close friendships. The person that knows me best is my husband and even he might not know ALL of me.

2. I'm not the most confident person but I have learned that my worth comes from GOD not from any other human being. This has helped me to be a little more confident and to take more chances when talking to people or in doing things.

3. It really bothers me that I never went to college and earned a degree. I realize now that it's not too late and I can pretty much do anything I set my mind to (again that confidence has come from Christ)but I'm also starting to wonder about this whole college thing. I think it's a scam and they just want to brain wash you at age 18 while you're still young and naive about the world. Yet I do see its benefit.

4. I am filled with so many ideas and I want to be the kind of person that brings those ideas to light. I don't want to just dream about doing things. I want to make them happen. I want to own my own business and I have it all planned out in my head.

5. I whole heartedly believe in the power of prayer. I try to spend a lot of my day talking to GOD. Praying to him, thanking him, praising him. It helps me keep a peace of mind. Everything I do, I try to do it in his name. When I get away from this( and it happens A LOT) I realize that's when the anxiety sets in.

6. By nature I am more on the pessimistic side. My husband truly taught me and shows me what it's like to be more of an optimist. By nature he is optimistic. I have found that together we completely balance each other out. It takes a lot of effort but more and more I'm learning how to choose to be optimistic. I may not naturally look at the bright side but it does not mean the bright side is not there. And it doesn't mean I can't or shouldn't see it. I have to choose what's not the easiest and most natural. For me, choosing to be positive , grows me more than settling for what comes easy.

7. I love out going people. I'm drawn to them immediately because they have something I so desperately want. In fact I'm drawn to people who have qualities so opposite of me. I'm so shy...it's painful. But I am getting better with that confidence thing. Again it comes down to making a choice to live "in" what comes natural or choosing to grow.

8. I don't like to share. What's mine is mine and what's my husbands is also mine. It's a great motto. Good thing my husband is a sharer even though he does not share this philosophy. Nothing bugs me more than having to give him something of mine....LIKE FOR INSTANCE MY ALLERGY MEDS. My allergy meds are like gold....go buy your own. Love you babe. I do realize that this is a horrible quality and I do work on it. I do share...I'm just saying I don't like to.

9. Even though people scare me. I like people. I like knowing about people, I like hearing about their lives, I enjoy hearing peoples struggles and how they overcome them. I LOVE SMART PEOPLE. I like people that have something to teach me or that can make me think. I like people that are not afraid to challenge me. I like people that have turned something ordinary into something extraordinary. I like people that use their talents,gifts, abilities for GOD. I love people that follow their dreams and make things happen. I like people that make themselves happy and don't rely on other people for it.

10. I'm a very independent person. I moved out of my parents home right after I graduated high school and I moved to Dallas and 100% financially supported myself. (aside from when I went through a divorce and lived with my parents for a little while which is something I really really hate about myself) I have always supported and depended on myself. I don't like asking for help or money and I don't like depending on other people for my life. One of the hardest things for me about being a stay home mom is that I don't support myself financially. Yet I understand that what I am contributing to my girls and hubby far outweighs any income I could be making. BUT I don't want anything just handed to me because I don't like the feeling of being in debt to someone or giving someone the power to control me or make me feel inadequate or to be able to use what they do for me against me.

But I'm not bragging

2009-02-08T14:36:00.010-06:00

Uno dos tres qatro cinco seis ocho nocho nueve diez! Haha.... Sorry I just think that is the funniest thing. That's how Bella counts to 10 in spanish...and she is so proud of herself. That sweet little thing makes my heart smile. But I'm not bragging.

Gary has been after me to update that we are NOT getting rid of my car after all. No, it was not because I said I was going to cry, it was because it just makes more sense financially to have the maintenance work it requires than to try to trade it in and be all crazy. So it's staying with us. And yes, I am smiling all though I would have been quite all right had we had to trade it in. Sometimes Gary does things or wants to do things with out thinking it all the way through...he just focuses on one aspect of the problem but together we were able to think about this very thoroughly and are 100% confident in our choice. It feels so good when a problem arises and we are able to tackle it together. I must say we are a great pair. But I'm not bragging.

Our 5 year anniversary is fast approaching and we are hopefully going to go somewhere alone! Yay. I am so excited and so looking forward to this. We do want to be as frugal as possible but still do something nice and relaxing. More than likely though we will have to celebrate it in March a whole month early just because it will be easy to travel while Hannah is on spring break. Tennessee is still in the back of my mind but so is going back to FL. where we got married and hanging out on the beach for a few days. I know I already said it but I can't wait. We are so fortunate to be able to do this. But I'm not bragging.

I am looking into taking a pilates class and was wondering if anyone who might read this might have any useful info on the matter. My current exersice routine is not cutting it. I have grown immune to the treadmill and for some reason am putting on weight even though I exercise. So maybe I need to switch it up a bit and incorporate 1-2 days of something different. ... I don't know....at this point I think I am thinking out loud. But I do want to trim up a bit and not just do cardio anymore. If we're going to the beach in a month or so I definitley need to get bathing suit ready but am confident I could do it if I really put my mind to it and hopefully look reasonably good for being 33! But I assure you I'm not bragging.

It's so hard to say goodbye

2009-02-06T09:03:00.002-06:00

I am so sad today. We have to get rid of my car that I love so much. I could cry.

Blah blah blah

2009-02-02T16:39:00.003-06:00

I keep meaning to blog but I really have nothing to blog about. I mean nobody wants to hear me complain about things worth or not worth complaining about and nobody wants to hear me brag about things worth or not worth bragging about. I'm sure no one wants to hear the latest thing Bella is doing or the funny things Hannah has said or the latest thing Gary has done to make me laugh or cry. Oh which reminds me of something that I actually think is worth saying because it is so absolutely SO the way things go. My husband has by no action/intention of his own lost 10 pounds in the last 2-3 weeks. WHAT???? And I have found about 5 of them. Sooo not happy about that. Anyway back to not knowing what to blog about. I've started 3 different posts in the last 7 days or so...only to not post it because I figure it's boring or it's lame or it's blah blah blah.
Sometimes I feel like that's what I'm saying. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Ya know? But things are good. No real complaints. Excited/nervous about a church project. Excited/hesitant about our small group. Excited/anxious about starting my desk remodel project. Oh... which i have bought new handles for. Yay....I can't wait to get started on that.

No, it's not in there

2009-01-25T15:36:00.007-06:00

So I'm in my closet today getting dressed to head to the grocery store and in walks gary real quick to grab some of his work shirts to wash. To which I say...."oh you're washing your clothes.....NICE." He continues to grab his shirts when he notices his old gym bag on the floor, the one he is bringing out of retirement in a few days when he starts going to the gym. "Here it is"...he proclaims "Oh I need my combination lock when I take this to they gym". This is the point where he starts searching for his lock. He scavenges the bag, looks in the pockets, feels all in it. "Hmmm, it's not in here" he confusingly states. Then he starts climbing the shelves to look on the top of the closet. Nope not up there. He starts rummaging through the closet, he's looking under baseball caps because somehow I guess combination locks are known to hide under baseball caps??? At this point it somehow dons on me that his lock is downstairs in the laundry room closet in his old back pack. So I say

Me - Hey babe, I think your lock is downstairs in the laundry room closet in your old backpack.
Gary - Noooooooooooooo. It couldn't be in there, I kept it in this bag all the time. It's not in my backpack.
Me - Are you sure, because for some reason I think it might be in there.
Gary - No, I'm sure it's not in there. I never kept it in that backpack. I only used it when I went to the gym.

At this point he is still searching high and low in the closet and I'm thinking to myself....why in the world would he at least not go look and check and see if it's downstairs in the laundry room closet in his old backpack.

Me -Okay.....but I think it is!

So,I see I must take matters into my own hands and I go downstairs to the laundry room closet and look inside his old back pack. I picked up the bag and start my search for his combination lock and what do you know. There it is, downstairs in the laundry room closet in his old backpack. I pull it out and it has at least 5 jolly ranchers stuck to it and a few pennies and dimes stuck to the jolly ranchers. I know he bought those jolly ranchers before bella was born so they have been sitting in that bag for at least 3 years. Maybe he thought you had to bring a lock to the hospital to keep it on the baby so no one would take her? I don't know.....but anyway there it is in all it's glory. YES! Haha I was right as usual. Honestly how has he not caught onto this me being right all the time thing. He's probably still upstairs looking for his lock.

Me - PAPA!!! PAPA!!!!
Gary - no answer
Me - You can't ever again for the rest of our entire marriage ever doubt me and say that I am wrong when I tell you where something is. I'm ALWAYS RIGHT! Here.

I hand him the lock.

Gary - Where was it?
Me - Down here in the laundry room closet in YOUR OLD BACK PACK!
Gary - No it wasn't...it was NOT in there.
Me - Oh my dear goodness....

Facelift

2009-01-20T15:33:00.007-06:00

Hello next project of mine. So we've had this desk sitting in our garage ever since we moved into our house last February. Hannah has been asking for a desk for her room since she currently uses her little table that she has had since she was 3. Needless to say she has entirely outgrown it. I've looked around at different desks and was annoyingly surprised to find that desks are not cheap. So I got the idea of redoing this desk since it's in fairly good shape and to be honest it sounds like a fun project to take on. What I see is repainting the entire thing and tightening up the loose screws to get it sturdy again. I think I could change out the dated handles and add some cute knobs to sort of update the look. I could possibly line the drawers with some cute paper and if I get brave enough maybe stencil a pattern on the top part along the edge and cover it with tempered glass and then Hannah can put things underneath the glass like pictures or her art work she brings home. I don't know...I guess the possibilities are endless so it will force me to get the creative juices flowing. And VOILA, hannah will have her very own custom hand painted/decorated desk. The only issue or shall I say challenge is that I have not the slightest idea of where to even begin. Amazingly enough though some photos of some furniture that a gal from church re modeled popped up on facebook ( i love facebook) so I contacted her to see if she would mind if I asked her a few questions and she was so very kind to oblige. She gave me lots of great info that I am sure I'm already a few steps ahead of where I would have been had I try to take this on all on my own. So I am so greatful for the info. Now I just hope I can do this. I have a way sometimes of thinking something is so easy that I take it on, only to find out it was way harder than I thought so I get frustrated and think I can't do it. Hopefully my determination will not give way to any kinks in this chain that are bound to come along the way. The first step........HOME DEPOT. Oh, here I come.

Anybody want a peanut!

2009-01-19T09:34:00.024-06:00

So yesterday I was taking my time at the grocery store. One of the only reasons I grocery shop at Target is because I like to go around and look at the non food items as well. Movies, books, toys, home deco, you name it. So I was browsing though DVD's looking for a movie for Hannah as a little gift for making all A honor roll again at school. I'm so proud of her. I came upon The Princess Bride. It's out on dvd and it's a special 20th anniversary edition. It is really neat because if you hold it right side up the title will say Princess Bride but if you hold it upside down the title will still say Princess Bride. How cool is that? So I bought it for her. I used to own the VHS tape but someone who will remain anonymous borrowed it and I never got it back. But it's okay, I still love her or maybe I'm still scared of her. Anyhow we watched it last night even though my husband thought it was the dumbest movie ever. He absolutely does not get it at all. I'm thinking to myself.....Okay how can someone I married not get the humor of this movie. This is MY sense of humor. This is probably one of the most enjoyable/laughable movies for me. It's inconceivable that he does not like it! ( thanks melanie ) I was just laughing, laughing, laughing and Gary was just rolling his eyes, not laughing and actually making me question our whole marriage. Not really but you know. I think he questions the intelligence of anyone who thinks that this is a good movie. I had to remind him that our Pastor even mentioned before that he liked it and Gary admires his intelligence so there really must be something wrong with Gary, not everyone else! Love ya babe! I think the movie is quite Brilliant and I am so glad we now own it and I can watch it whenever I want. I think I will watch it every night in bed just so it can grow on Gary. Hannah, I'm not quite sure she got it either but maybe she is just too young. She asked me, "mom, is this even a kid movie? It seems a little scary?" Oops! I guess there could be some scary parts like the ROUS's. That's Rodents of unusual size in case you don't savvy. It's a fairy tale story with love, loss, death, revenge, humor, wit, and if you're an imaginative, Romantic, you should totally see this movie. Here are some hilarious one liners?

"Do you think he's using the same wind we're using?" Inigo to Vizzini when a ship in the distance is gaining on them.

"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." What Inigo will say when he finds the six-fingered man who murdered his father many years ago

Inigo: Fezzik, are there rocks ahead?

Fezzik: If there are, we all be dead.

Vizzini: No more rhymes now, I mean it.

Fezzik: Anybody want a peanut?

Fezzini: Inconceivable!

Inigo: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means

Westley: You mean, you put down your rock and I put down my sword and we try to kill each other like civilized people?

Vizzini: You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The first is never get involved in a land war in Asia. The second, only slightly less well known, is this: never go up against a Sicilian when death is on the line! Ha ha ha ha ha ha --

Soooo many more. For me this movie is just a story of Brilliant lines.

25 Random things about me

2009-01-12T12:17:00.014-06:00

1. I'm the oldest of 3 daughters and we all have the middle name Ann.

2. Whenever I pour things I have to count to 7.

3. I exercise 5-6 days a week and I can't exercise for 32 or 38 minutes. It has to end in 0 or 5.

4. I eat candy by color....like a bag of skittles I couldn't just eat randomly what I pull out. I have to eat all the greens, then yellows, then oranges....red and purples are always last. Sometimes I just eat red and purple.

5. I played the piano as a kid. I'd love to take lessons again.

6. I have a fondness for red cardinals.

7. My favorite number is 7.

8. I've always wanted a Chinese child. I think they are so cute.

9. I have big feet for my height. Size 8

10. I have a fear of flying.

11. I like the color red but I can't say it's my favorite.

12. I think I might be a hypochondriac.

13. I've gained 3 pounds and i am okay with it. For true!

14. I don't really care for ice cream except when I'm pregnant or if it's Marble Slabs birthday cake flavored ice cream. Otherwise I'll pass on it.

15. I don't eat fast food.

16. I'm currently obsessed with C.S Lewis books.

17. I wear glasses but I hate to wear them so I just walk around blind. When I do put them on I am always amazed at how clear things are. haha

18. I love my house to smell good. I'm almost always burning fragrance oil or am spraying scented room spray.

19. I LOVE Doritos with Tabasco sauce though I rarely let myself indulge in it. In fact I think I love just about everything with Tabasco sauce.

20. I met Mike Huckabee and shook his hand.

21. I admire Nancy Reagan and Ruth Bell Graham for the kind of wives they were.

22. I want to run a marathon.

23. I can be really mean/moody. Or so Gary says. ( right babe )

24. This one I just discovered.....Don't laugh. I like to watch Gary exercise!
25. My husband and girls make me feel like the most beautiful mommy in the world.

I got this idea from Sarah Hogan. It was harder than I thought. Now share your 25!

The title is here you just can't see it

2009-01-08T16:02:00.013-06:00

So there are so many things swirling around in my head today. Dreams( night ones ), school, muscle twitches, growing up. You know.... things like that.
Dreams -
I have been having this same reoccurring dream for I don't know how long now. I think it was Tuesday night when I last had it. When I wake up all the next day I am stuck with that feeling that the dream brings out and even though I know it was all a dream, in a way it still feels like it happened and the feeling/thoughts stay with me. Why do we dream? Do dreams mean something? The actual dream is pretty much always the same but the people in it change. Well the 2 main people in the dream are Gary and me but the others in the dream change. I dream that Gary is cheating on me and a lot of the times he is doing it right in front of my face and I am just watching in total disbelief for his complete disregard for me. And I am just asking why he is doing this and he never answers me. It's in my pleading with him to explain why when I always wake up. I hate it. Sometimes, and this is kind of funny, the girl in the dream is a celebrity. One time is was Angelina Jolie! Haha.....Gary thought it was hilarious. It was, but it wasn't. Most of the times it's just random people that we know and sometimes even my sisters! Yeah....figure out that one! I know he would never cheat on my in real life....so I wonder why I ALWAYS have this dream.
School
We are thinking about enrolling Bella at Strickland this Fall in their pre k-program. It would be Monday - Friday from 8-12 and I keep thinking this would be a great time for me to go to school and get my foot back in that door. That door has long been closed. We shall see if that is a direction that my family would want me to go in because of course my family is my first priority but with mornings free like that it just seems like it should not be a wasted opportunity. On the flip side of that it makes me completely sad to think that Bella is growing up so fast and is almost ready for real school. I still call her my baby and she is just that. It's so strange to have such conflicting feelings about that. On the one hand I am ready for her to grow up and on the other hand I am clinging on to her as long as I can.
Muscle twitches
They are annoying and it is taking all that is in me not to be too paranoid about this yet. You may not know this.....but I'm not a doctor but I play one on the Internet. I keep telling myself that it's mind over matter. Don't run too far with it and go diagnosing myself with a debilitating disease just yet. But it's oh so hard. I don't want to go to the Dr. because the last time I went to the doctor with a strange thing that was going on with my body (shakiness) the doctor just kind of told me with out really saying, that I'm probably imagining it. Especially because I could not prove it ya know. But it was there.....I assure you, I feel it. And I feel these twitches all over too but you can't really see them so I figure it would be more of the same thing. Her just kind of looking at me like she thinks I'm cuckoo. I'm starting to wonder if I am. Sometimes I wish my brain could just rest for a minute, or at least not be so obsessive about these ailments. And notice I did not say imaginary ailments.....because they are there. Even if no one else can see them. And no, I never had an imaginary friend.

It's a shoe kind of day

2009-01-06T16:31:00.007-06:00

Today was like Christmas for me! Gary and I don't really do gifts for eachother for Christmas because I guess it just feels silly. I don't know.... BUT we did set aside gift money so that we could pick out some new things for ourself ( read for me ...haha) for after Christmas so as to make sure we got the best deal. So today the shoes I ordered online right after Christmas arrived and I could not be any happier. I'm all smiles and I just love to look at them and I arranged them so pretty in my closet. Did I say....I just love new shoes.I can't wait to wear them even though I almost don't want to wear them because they are just so new, and unscratched and beautiful in their newness. I got all three for over 50 % off and the ones from Nine West were only 25 dollars! I mean you can't beat that for a pair of Nine West Shoes. I'm in heaven. And what is most amazing is that Gary actually likes them all.....even the purple ones!

Purple Shoes

2009-01-06T15:45:00.005-06:00

Bella has it in her head that purple sparkly tennis shoes exist and so we set out on our Quest today to find some. It's always amazing to me that when you get something in your head like this, its almost impossible that it exists. I mean Bella has really good taste in shoes so you would think purple sparkly tennis shoes would be all over the place. Ummm.....not quite. So it donned on me that Bella must have visions in her head before things actually exist and I am quite sure they are going to hit stores very soon and they will be all the rage. So in the mean time I did some extensive searching online and Voila....I found some purple sparkly tennis shoes.

So are they tacky or not? I saw them and I was so excited because I was just sure this is exactly what she was talking about. I showed Gary and he frowned at them. Psht....what does he know! Of course now I am having doubts as to whether or not they are tacky. Hmm.... Oh well....if they are she's still wearing them...besides when I showed her the picture she said she loved them.

A few pics

2009-01-03T12:08:00.004-06:00

A colorful bunch

Keeps me sane and drives me crazy.

Have you seen her? Tell her I miss her.

No wonder!

Does he think we can't see him? He thought the christmas tree was his own playscape.

She writes

2009-01-02T11:00:00.005-06:00

I know all parents think their kids are so smart. I am not the exception. I taught Bella to write her name and she does it all on her own. All by her self. No help from me! Maybe this is the norm these days for 3 year olds, I don't know....but I still think it's exceptionally brilliant. She also recognizes all her letters and numbers by sight and can tell you with any letter a word that starts with the letter. For example when she recognized an X yesterday she said, " Mommy that is a X and X is for xylophone. She makes me smile from the inside.

Nice Nice Baby

2008-12-29T14:13:00.004-06:00

Christmas was nice. We hung out for a few days in Pittsburg, TX with Gary's family and we always look forward to visiting with them. They are so calm and laid back, the girls get to ride a little pony and that's always fun for them. They of course got way too much stuff so I put a few things away for now. They don't even realize it. I got lots of new books to read and some other cool stuff. I was turned on to a new video game, it's a sort of karaoke singing game and it has me wanting to buy the wii version which I guess is Rock Band. We'll see. I can't sing for nothing but it's fun to watch people nonetheless. Oh AND maybe the highlight of my christmas vacation was watching my husband offer up his rendition of Ice Ice Baby. Oh my goodness...it is priceless and it is all captured on video and boy if I knew how to get it from my video camera to the computer I would offer it to you for your viewing pleasure. I'm sure Gary wouldn't mind at all.
Word to your motha!

Blog Photo Tag

2008-12-22T13:05:00.005-06:00

This is a picture of some girls from Church A LONG time ago at least 4 years but might be 5. In it is Tracy Y, Summer M, Nicole M, Hanna and Mason O, and me and Hannah who is super little. We were at some church function ( I don't remember what) but were helping Tracy Y grade some school papers. Wow we all look younger!

I was tagged by Sara W.
Instructions:

Go to the place where you store all of your pictures on your computer and open up the 4th folder
Open the 4th picture

Post the picture and give an explanation
Tag 4 people (or more if you wish... I couldn't stop at 4)

Not sure anyone else will do this but I tag:

Melanie B.
Sarah H.
Amanda G.
Summer M.

Random

2008-12-18T11:13:00.004-06:00

I had such a crush on this guy back in the 90's. Him and Eddie Vedder...haha. I think he's even more attractive now because he has a daughter. I just love a man and his daughter.

Is that you Santa Claus

2008-12-15T14:22:00.007-06:00

THEN: The first time I took Bella to see Santa she was horrified and would not go near him. She wanted nothing to do with it. So we had to put her on his chair and he snuck up right behind her and she had no idea he was there and we got the shot of them together. That was then.

NOW - This is now. She's practically giving Santa her life story. AND she went back a second time to show him how she dances.

Crazy roads

2008-12-13T13:01:00.019-06:00

I've never made a great passenger. Ask Gary. I like to be in the drivers seat. I drive him crazy when he's driving because I am telling him exactly how he needs to be driving. Slow down, don't stop so fast, you need to turn faster....etc. He HATES it. But I feel like I am in the car, in the passenger side, maybe even the back seat, with no great control of where I am going. I surely feel like God is about to steer me down a path, I never intended to take. It's a great reminder to me that I am NOT in control here. I guess I should not be so surprised about this but that still does not make it any easier. A crash still hurts whether I'm the driver or not. A LOT! All the preparing we have done this past year to get us in to healthy financial practices still did not prepare us for a dramatic turn like this. I mean we're talking whiplash here. We thought we were on such a good route. GOD said DETOUR! Obviously roads can fork off in to many different directions, directions we weren't even looking in, directions we were not even given. Bumpy roads, scary roads, dark roads. Roads that look like they couldn't even be driven on. THEY CAN! There's an innumerable amount of roads out there. Hopefully, and this is what I pray, the roads we are being driven down have better destinations than the roads we thought we were travelling. Maybe I should not have my eyes so much on the destination but the actual driver instead and I don't mean having my eyes on him so I can bark orders at him either. I am obviously not the driver right now and so maybe I should have complete faith that the driver is not going to drive too crazy and that he knows where he is going and will get me where I need to be....safely. Thank you driver that we even have this car to be driven in, because other wise we'd be walking.

Never say Never

2008-12-10T17:04:00.011-06:00

Last night I was lying in Bella's bed with her and we're doing our usual bed time routine. We prayed, I sang her 2 lullaby's and said our good nights and I love yous....you know all that cute stuff. Then she closes her pretty eyes and begins to drift of to sleepy land. Or so I thought. Then she says, " Mommy!!!, did you know that I NEVER ( and she emphasized never ) want to go away to college! I had to laugh because it was so out of the blue and I could tell she wanted to make sure I knew this. I'm thinking...what does she know about college? I mean we had not discussed college or talked about that any time recently. Well come to find out later when I was telling Gary about her comment, he laughed too ,and then told me that he was telling her that when she was older she would eventually go off to college and that we would pack her up a suit case and send her on her little way. As a 3 year old that has got to be a frightening thought. I mean at 3 your whole world revolves around your mommy and daddy and it's just not in her comprehension that at 18 years of age she is going to be so excited at the thought of going off to college. I mean I guess it's a bit presumptuous of me to assume she would be excited at that but typically it is the norm. But for all she knows now, she is 100% convinced that she wants no part of it. She then goes on to tell me that she wants to stay with me forever because she loves me so much. As she is telling me this she is clinching onto me for dear life. The unknown is scary. But because I know and understand that she is just too young to know what she's really saying I know that college is not scary. I mean it is but not like she is thinking it is. All she probably heard was that she will live somewhere else away from us and funny as it is....that is just horrific to her. I as her mother know that when that time comes in all reality it is going to be me that will be hanging on to her for dear life and she will already have one foot out that door. At 3 she does not realize yet that with college will come certain freedoms. Freedoms that at some time between now and then, she will have an intense desire for. And this proclamation that she NEVER wants to go away to college will someday be something for me to remind her about and laugh at and probably desperately try to hold her to.

Thank God she is just 3 and I don't have to worry about this for quite sometime but it just got me to thinking about things that I fear. Is it possible GOD could be saying......No, Monica don't be afraid of that. As he laughs.

Christmas Tree O Christmas Tree

2008-12-07T20:18:00.010-06:00

OUR CHRISTMAS TREE

CLOSE UP

A POINSETTIA
Well I finally finished all my Christmas decorating. Of course the pics would look better at night all lit up but I did not take those pics. It was a lot of work getting my house Christmas ready. I did my living, kitchen, entryway, stairs and dining room. Thanks mom for all your help! The only thing that bothered me was that the color of my drapes interrupted the flow. I was going to ask Gary to take them down but he's quite grumpy at times and I did not want to ask him to do that. He was already frustrated with me for getting silver spray paint on the wood bench in the back yard. Oops! RELAX BABE......it will come out! I kind of went a little spray paint happy. I love spray paint and it's a cheap instant fix. Now I'm afraid I will want to leave the deco up all year. That should be fine right?

It's coming along

2008-12-03T16:28:00.011-06:00

I have been so busy this week trying to get my house decorated for our Large Family Christmas Party that is being held at Casa de Clifton this Saturday. This is the first time I have ever really decorated for Christmas besides a Christmas tree. Man! It's a lot of work.....and an expense. Unfortunately my vision (as in what I wanted my house to look like) is quite larger than my budget so there is a large discrepancy. Hopefully tonight when Gary gets the tree set up.......(PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE babe set up the tree for me) that will tie it all together. It's going to have to do because I've just about done all I can. I STILL have not gotten that wave of holiday cheer that comes with the Holidays but I am trying to stay positive and not get overwhelmed. But I am. I am very overwhelmed. I can't wait until January when things can get back to normal. Next up will be the Church House decorations. I was supposed to get that done this week too but it looks like that is not happening. Sorry Church house, I know you are begging to be dressed in your holiday cheer too. How do I get into the spirit. What do people do? Do I need to listen to Christmas Music? That's kind of strange to do in 80 degree weather. How do people get into the spirit?? Maybe I'm trying too hard.

CHRISTMAS MANTLE

Past Week Happenings

2008-11-28T09:14:00.010-06:00

- Had the in laws in town and went out to eat at the Salt Lick. I LOVE THAT PLACE!

- Bella got her ears pierced - I was not happy about this but her daddy told her she could. She looks really cute with her earrings. Hannah was too scared to do hers.

- Went to Hannahs' end of season soccer party. Parents VS Kids on the field = CRAZY!

- My mom gave me this really cool new scrabble board as an early Christmas present. Beat my husband in scrabble at least 3 or 4 times - then yesterday he FINALLY beat me. He was so happy. ( pst.....I let him win)

- Gary took the girls to see Bolt. They loved it and Hannah came home with her ears pierced! She looks cute too.

- Battled a Migraine. Pain. Throbbing. Agony. I got desperate and took a sample pill my doctor gave me a while back for migraines( I hate taking medicine) and it was gone! Hello Treximet. My new Hero.

- Played a self made Christmas CD while I prepared my contribution to the Thanksgiving meal. I still could not get into the holiday spirit but Bella had fun dancing around to the songs.

- Thanksgiving day!!!!!!!!! Yummy food. This is my favorite meal of the entire year. We had smoked turkey, ham, sweet potatoes, corn casserole, green beans, broccoli casserole, gravy and rolls! DELICIOUS. Then of course pumpkin and pecan pie.

- Back to reality. Gary went back to work today after being off a week. I really like when he's home. Now hopefully I can shed a few pounds so we can do all of this again for Christmas. I'm going to try to get into the spirit of the Holidays. I can't believe the year is almost over.

Say Cheese

2008-11-21T12:40:00.005-06:00

I found Bella the best Christmas present that I think all children will want this year. Aren't they perfect? She will have the prettiest smile around and most importantly we don't have to worry about any more cavities. I'm such a brilliant mom. Let me know if you want some for you kids ( or you) because I am sure they will sell out FAST! Move over scooters and baby dolls I just know these are the next big things for kids.

Simplicity

2008-11-19T08:13:00.003-06:00

I am at a serious loss for something to write about here....... Hmmm......think Monica, think! Things I guess are not all that exciting in the Clifton household. We're just chugging along here.....trying to ride the last few months of the year 2008. Not so sure I am looking forward to 2009. It's no secret that the economy is in shambles and it's finally hitting Gary's line of work. I guess things can't always be on the up and up and he has enjoyed almost 9 years on the up and up and sometimes things go down ya know. We're trying not to be too worried.....I mean we know whatever happens that we will be just fine but it is still scary to know that our only source of income is only guaranteed until the end of the year. They have had some MAJOR cutbacks in his company and his job is hanging on by the thinnest of threads. Scary. There are good things that come out of hard times though. Of this I am pretty sure. It's made me take a look at this upcoming season with conservative eyes and prompting me to devise a plan to get us through. Like take gift giving for example. I mean is giving gifts THE point of the holidays? No. Yet it seems that the Holidays have evolved into the season of gift giving. I bet 80 % of the stress of the holiday season could be eliminated if we got gift giving under control. I know I know it is good for the economy blah blah blah. Honestly though my kids don't need anything! They don't need more toys, or dolls, or games, or dress up clothes. They already have plenty. I know my nieces and nephews don't need any thing either. They all have so much already and so why add to the clutter of stuff they already have and don't play with. I think it would be so great if we used this Holiday season to focus on what it's really about and that is the birth of Jesus Christ. I was telling my mom last night that maybe this year we should try something different and not worry about buying presents for anyone in our family and just focus on celebrating and being thankful for what we already have. She just kept looking at me like I was speaking a foreign language. I might as well have been saying.....opwiefkmndvlkajrtolaisnvierytaienra.sgbieurvyha;sokdnmrweigroasfdnvasiuvyapi;gja;.

I don't know, this is just what has been laid upon my heart and with any extra money we have I feel it would be put to greater use if we just adopted a "needy" family to provide for so that they can have a meal to be thankful for. I assure you I am not being a scrooge....it's not about that at all. I usually love the holiday season but this year I am not looking forward to it because I know it's going to require all this shopping and getting so and so this gift and so and so that one. I'd love to make the theme to this years Holidays, "SIMPLICITY"and hopefully I can get that holiday sprit that usually starts next Thursday with the most delicious meal that I wait for all year. Anyway I guess I did have something to say after all...haha....even if it is all jumbled and unorganized. But then most of my thoughts are that way. I really do love the holidays.

Loser Mommy of the Century

2008-11-13T14:25:00.004-06:00

I know a few fellow blogger friends of mine have blogged before about being a "loser" mommy. I thought today I would contribute my loser momminess to the world.....and if you ask me I think this far out does said mentioned blogger's loser mommy moments.

I am just beside myself today with an enormous weight of guilt on my heart. It pains me from the top of my head, all the way down to the tips of my toes. I mean of all the horrible things you can do to your kids, I think this is pretty much up there. I will never ever forgive myself for this and all though the entire weight of this is not ALL my fault. It is.

I took Bella to the dentist today and she has CAVITIES!!!! Cavities! Holes in her teeth. And not just 1 either. We're talking multiples here. This has got to be one of the most embarrassing things ever! I mean.....what 3 year old has cavities unless they pretty much sleep with a mouth full of sugar. She might as well have been doing that ya know? I was so heart broken, sad, depressed, guilt stricken. This is horrible.

Gary, he's like. "Oh it's not that big of a deal....there's nothing we can do about it now!" WHAT????? And this is the man that is in charge of brushing her teeth every night before bed time. Can you say FIRED! But I am not saying it's his fault because I admit sometimes in the rush of our morning routine, I sometimes forget to brush poor little innocent Bella's teeth. You might as well call CPS now and report our cruel parenting skills. Poor girl's parents don't take proper care of her poor little, what did they ever do to us, innocent baby teeth. I mean really......what kind of parent lets their child get multiple cavities by the time they are 3! Hannah did not have cavities at age 3 and I did not have a cavity until age 30. This is just beyond unacceptable to me. At this rate by the time she's 5 she's going to have a mouth full of stainless steel teeth.

So there....I am nominating or actually awarding my self for the Loser Mommy of the Century Award!
Shame, shame, shame on me.

Credit Cards - Not Always Bad

2008-11-13T10:30:00.003-06:00

Out of boredome yesterday Bella and I went to the Outlet Mall. We are all in need of some new clothes and are fortunate enough to have a clothing budget for this month. I figured the best way to stretch our money would be to head to the Outlet Mall. First stop.....Banana Republic. They were having a pretty good sale, I might say. I found 3 tops that I liked....all at least 40% off! Deal! I got Gary his much loved boxers ( he will only wear Banana Republic boxers....SPOILED??) they were 5 for 20 bucks which is good because normally they can run like 9 dollars or more each. Anyway.....I was in there forever trying to make sure I was getting the best deals possible. I went to check out and the lady said they were having an extra 25% of your entire purchase if you were a Old Navy, Gap or Banana card holder. I just so happend to be and still had my card in my wallet all though it's been years since I have actually used it. But 25 % off is a great deal and then I can just turn around and pay the card right off! All this to say.....if you are in need of some clothing and are a card holder there it might be worth the trip. I paid 15 dollars total for 3 nice tops which I think is a super deal. I think I am going to go back for sure.....all though next time I think I will go alone. It's hard shopping with a 3 year old.

Confession

2008-11-10T15:59:00.004-06:00

So I was led to get something out in the complete open about how my husband and I met. I decided today that I am not going to be embarrassed about this anymore. Okay....that was a bold face lie. I still will probably be embarrassed but here it goes anyway.

My husband and I met in a small group counseling session for people who have sex addictions.

Okay that was another bold face lie! Hahaha. No, seriously for those that don't know, Gary and I actually met on one of those matchmaker sites. Match dot com or matchmaker dot come....one of those. AND not only that.....it was me that made the first move. I sent him a message and the rest is history. I don't know what I was thinking, it was and still is completely out of my realm of behavior and I can only think that for some strange reason I was just compelled to do it. It's not something I had ever done and I got A LOT of flack from my family. Mainly from my brother in law who thought for sure I had gone crazy and was asking to get my self cut up into a million pieces and buried somewhere. As they say though, all is well that ends well and it surely did.

So there........it's no longer a secret I will hold close to my vest. You can pick on us now if you want.

Monday Morning Thoughts

2008-11-10T07:52:00.003-06:00

I honestly can't believe that we are already in November. I do this every year......think about how the year just flew by and claim I don't know where it escaped to. It's crazy. It does not feel like it's about to be Thanksgiving again, or Christmas. The stores are already all decked out with rows of Christmas trees, ornaments, blow up Santa's and holiday wreaths. Again I say....crazy! Gary and I were looking forward to a nice get away this month but have decided to be wise with our money instead and save the getaway for our 5 year anniversary that is coming up in just a few short months. Speaking of anniversary, Gary surprised me with a bouquet of roses the other day celebrating the 7 year anniversary of the day we met. 7 Years! How we met is still so absolutely crazy, and I don't think most people even know that story. It's not something I particularly like to share. We used to joke around and say when anyone asks us how we met, let's just make us some crazy story and tell everyone something different. Haha. We dated for a year and then he proposed and even though I had sworn off marriage, he some how convinced me it would be a good idea. We were engaged for a year and then we got married. He was right. These last 7 years have been the best years of my 33. I love thinking about when we were dating..... we had some really wonderful times together and still continue to do so. A comfortableness has settled in between us. A comfort that is like home. I hope and pray we make it to our 50th anniversary! Almost 5 years down.....only 45 more to go. Do you think you can put up with me that long babe? Would you like to see me with grey hair and possibly no teeth? Maybe I can push you around in your wheel chair and help you with your dentures. I can comb your one strand of hair and make you your favorite mashed food. We can sit there on our porch and swing and think about our youthful past. We better enjoy this time now, huh?

Moving Forward

2008-11-05T17:59:00.010-06:00

Well I can't believe it's finally over. I have been so invested in this election....I pretty much ate, slept, and breathed it. The last 15 or 16 months or so this election has pretty much been my life. It's all I read about....all I wanted to watch on TV and all I've listened to on the radio. I never in my life have been so "in" to something and at times it was emotionally draining and I felt like I might have post election traumatic stress syndrome but today I felt so at peace and relaxed and I am ready to move forward. All though I did not cast my vote for Obama, he is now going to be the President of the United States of America and I am going to be okay with that. I keep thinking about what an amazing thing he pulled off here. He made history last night. This had to feel good to him and his wife and to all the African American people in this country and I hope now they can put to rest any hatred or feelings of condemnation that they have for this country and for this country's past injustices against them . I hope Obama winning will set free in them what they need to have peace about their History. I mean I know that won't happen over night but maybe this can be the beginning for that. I hope to move past the notion that any one race is better than the other. I hope they no longer feel that it's the "white man" holding them down. If me saying that offends anyone.....sorry ,but right or wrong ,that's what I hope. I also hope and Pray Obama will take us in a positive direction and I hope this country can be united and I am going to give him a chance and be supportive of him(meaning you won't hear me trashing him like the democrats did to Bush) and I am going to think positive. I'm going to pray for him and place my trust in GOD that everything happens just as it should. Even though this blog might make my husband call me an Obama Lover.....I'm not. I just think he deserves a chance. I feel like this is a new beginning and I am happy to say.......
I'm moving forward.

It's gone

2008-11-03T17:50:00.006-06:00

What's that you ask? Well.....it's the little metal stakes that came with our McCain/Palin yard sign. Notice anything strange? Like maybe ......um the McCain/Palin sign is not on it. Missing maybe? Well I can't say missing....because that could perhaps imply we misplaced it. So no, it's not missing. And no we did not change our minds at the last minute and decide to vote for Barack Obama and therefor took it off. Nope....not that. What? Stolen? You think? Noooooooooooooooooooooo

Maybe it just blew away with the heavy winds last night. Yeah it has to be that. I wonder if this is a sign. Haha....no pun intended. A foreshadowing of tomorrow.

Bah Humbug

2008-10-30T16:50:00.009-05:00

Oh wait......that's scrooge and he hates Christmas. Not Halloween. I really dislike Halloween. I am not one of those people that thinks it's evil or that you should not take your kids out for candy or celebrate it because it's celebrating the dead. I mean....for me, as a kid, it was never about that and I am sure my parents were not about celebrating the dead either but we did go trick or treating as kids. I don't think I knew the true meaning of Halloween until I was like 30...well maybe I was not that old. Does that make it okay? I have no idea and I really don't care. I think it has evolved into a past time and something for kids to do and so I don't see any harm in it. Well that's not fully true.....I mean if you were invoking spirits and calling out and praying to the dead or bringing out the Ouija board, then yes.....I would have to say that is going to a dark place with it but to each their own right? I don't know.....maybe it is wrong but I don't have time to go off on that tangent. For me it's not about that............but I digress.

So Halloween.......I really dislike this day. I really just prefer my kids to stay home. Call me a downer, or call me lame, it's just a big nuisance to me. You have to find costumes for your kids and spend at least 20 bucks per costume on something that they will probably only wear one time and they wear it for about one hour and then it's never seen again. Then you have to buy all this candy to give out to crazy kids who are already hyper enough and surely don't need more sugar. Then you have to deal with rude little kids who complain when you don't have the cool candy or whine when you don't give them enough (so they stick their grubby hands in the bowl and grab what they see as fit) or when they have some smart aleck comment about the candy or whatever.......I just want to say to them, " Just be thankful I gave you some.....PUNK!" Just kidding. I would never say that to a child.

Then you have to deal with all the CANDY! If there is any left over I usually eat it all up myself because I don't want to throw it away. Then we have to sift through the bags of candy that the girls will bring home and here comes the hard part. Making them pick only a few pieces out that they can keep since they both will have probably eaten about 20 pieces already and telling them the rest is going to go in the trash. Maybe this year we will tell them we have to give it away to all the little kids that did not get to go trick or treating and maybe they will be okay with it since there is so much talk these days about "redistributing"..... you know taking from those that have and giving to those that don't. Oh.....that was tacky wasn't it??? So.........really the "poor kids" or the "trash" in this scenario will end up being Gary and me and again we will eat up all this candy between the two of us until I literally get sick and throw it in the garbage. And I will be 3 pounds heavier.

So I hope I can lighten up by tomorrow and not be such a Debbie Downer about something that maybe should just be fun for the girls. I hope Bella does not get scared of all the costumes out there because she does not like scary things. She gets pretty terrified......hopefully Gary will get out of work early enough to take them before the older kids get out. Since I was so dreading tomorrow I waited until the last minute to get Hannah a costume and everything was picked over but she set her eyes on a monster bride costume and just had to have it! Oh goodness. That child has a natural tendency towards all things her mommy does not like. Why not a cute cat or a princess or a cheerleader? Those don't appeal to her. So against my better judgement I am letting her dress up like a monster bride. People will probably think I let my kids worship the devil. Haha. Bella is going to be Cinderella.....no wait she's going to be Snow White, no wait she's going to be Princess Alexa...........It's changed about 84 times and today at Target she decided she wanted to be a kitty princess after she said she wanted to be Sleeping Beauty. So we shall see. Maybe I should dress up as a Goth Chic Mother of the Monster Bride. Put on really pale makeup and dark black lipstick and line my eyes with the darkest eyeliner I can find and part my hair down the middle and wear it long and straight. I think that would mortify my kids or at least embarass Hannah. Hmmm.... maybe it's not such a bad idea. Anyone dressing up? Your kids?