REBORN

I finished my desk remodel project for my Hannah. She will be so excited to finally have a real desk in her room. I put the final coat of the polycrylic and it is drying as I speak. This sure was a learning experience and I really loved doing the work. I stressed about the quality of my work but had to settle for the fact that I'm not a pro yet so there are going to be a few imperfections. It gives it character, right? My dad stopped by yesterday before it was all the way finished and he was so enthusiastic about it and thought it was just Awesome! He loved it. My Hubby on the other hand never really shared his opinion ( other than to say what was wrong with it) other than he did not care for the decorative paper but said it was fine. My mom stopped by last night and did not really say anything much either, so when I prodded for her opinion, I said, "you don't like it, do you?" To which she wrinkled her face and said, " Why did you put that paper on it?" Hahaha...okay fine whatever, the paper was a mistake. You live and learn right? Then she mustered a, " it looks good".....yeah......right. Her face told a completely different story. But I guess that's what happens when you do something and you put it out there for people to see. They don't have to love it. But I DO.

.

Oops

Well I have been non stop busy since the little girls left me. This desk remodel played a MAJOR part of that. Silly me thought I could get this "redo" finished in 2 days! My hubby said that was mighty ambitious of me, I just think it was plain old ignorance. I did not want to spend every single one of my free days working and it's exactly what I have done. I have not spent one moment doing something nice and relaxing or pampering to my body or mind. Goodness! Tomorrow is my last day of freedom and I at least wanted to watch a movie or go get a manicure ( you should see my hands)or pedicure or go buy myself something totally self indulgent. Jeez.....I have not even slept in past 6:30. I'm retarded. Well if it means anything I have at least enjoyed redoing the desk. I enjoy learning how to do things and this has definitely been a learing experience since it's the first time I've ever done this kind of work. I LIKE IT! I just wish I had had a whole week to work on it......but Hannah comes home Saturday and I wanted it to be all done and set up in her room when she got back. So, next time I'll know to allow myself more than 2 days to get it done. And next time I will know that wrapping paper is not a good idea to use for decorative touches. The paper part of the desk is a disaster! One I'm afraid that can only be remedied by ordering wall paper ( it's really thick) and praying I can get this other paper off and just redo that for another time. For now the paper will have to do( it's glued on there) with it's air bubbles and wrinkles and all. Eye yi yeye...... That bugs me, but what can I do. Here are some sneak peak pics.

The Color

The Paper and Knobs

Adventures in my own Home day 1

So life is completely different once you have kids. And you can only know what I'm talking about if you have them. Well for the rest of the week they are with their Grandmama in Pittsburg, TX and I plan to take full advantage of their time away. I cried a few tears even though I told myself not to. Oh well. Now here I am, I can blog with out guilt. I can sleep in if I want. I can pretty much do whatever the heck I want. It's amazing and something that has not happened here in my own home for a pretty long time. I've never been home before with out a kid around. I plan to take full advantage. First up..... CLEANING! I know, I know that does not sound all that glamorous but instead of paying the cleaning lady to come and do it, I will just pay myself that money and do the cleaning in peace and quiet with no kids around and then go shopping with the money I paid myself! Genius isn't it?? Well I think it is.

Update - 2.5 hours later. Note to self.

It's much easier to be on vacation outside the home with out the kiddo's than it is to be just home with out them. I've been cleaning and there are a million reminders of them and I burst out into tears. WHAT?? What's wrong with you! Really?? Get a grip! You'll see them in a few days. Now get back to cleaning and listening to your ipod with no interuptions. That is what you dream about isn't it? A day with no interruptions?? Geeze!

Running through my head

So many thoughts and not enough time to think them through. So maybe I will jot them down....or type them out. Just real quick.


Death is all around and I keep looking over my shoulder at him. Protect my family and me, LORD!

2 little girls,one just 2 weeks old, and their daddy, Lost their mommy( and wife) way too soon. I pray they all be comforted their whole life by knowing she's in Heaven. My heart aches because I know they'd rather have her here.

There is a time to rest and a time to be busy. Thank you that my time to be busy is behind me and I pray to have a restful remainder of the summer.

Sometimes I forget that not all people live like us( my family) and that what's common to me, can be so foreign to others.

Just because you volunteer and give a lot of your time to things that are bigger than you, does not mean you deserve anything in return. No Prasie, no recognition. Because if you think that you do, you're doing it for all the wrong reasons and will only make yourself bitter.

It was so important to me to be liked by people. Then I realized that I should first focus on liking people.

If you have a problem with people or with people's behavior and things they do drive you crazy or offend, or hurt your feelings...etc. Naturally you want those people to change their ways. Really that's a selfish way of thinking and all you're really saying is their behavior does not satisfy YOU. Why don't you change your own reactions to those things instead of expecting them to change. Really that's all you have control of. Yourself.

Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.
Matthew- 5:9

It's not so important to be understood. More so to understand what is important.

Still Have / Only Have

Depending on whether you are a pessimist or an optimist.....we still have / only have about 5 weeks left of summer vacation over here. If you are a pessimist then it's a bummer because that means summer vacation is half way over or if you are an optimist it's a good thing because you still have half your summer vacation left.


Regardless, it is what it is.


Lately things have been crazy for me with helping out at the new church property to prepare for our first service in the new place and with decorating for VBS which started today. All I have left of my churchly duties is planning Family Night this Friday to wrap up VBS. The theme is the Australian Outback and we will be having a Sausage Sizzle. I'll make some fruit kabobs and we will have a big jumpy thing and snow cones and lemonade and if all goes well it will be a grand ol time. Then I will undecorate the place and I am DUNZO! I can go back to enjoying my lazy summer days with my girls and I can give my husband back his days off from work instead of dragging him along and helping me out with everything. He's been such a trooper! Amazing really. I don't know what I would do with out my handy husband. Did I tell yall he built me a little contraption for VBS decor to add to the snack room rotation. Yeah.....he's pretty much awesome and got a few job offers. Little do they know he only does these kinds of things for me for extra kisses and I'm sure he will completely hate that I just said that.

: )

Up next -
Grandmama coming to town this weekend and then taking the girls home with her for a few day. OH MY! That means I have 4 days all to myself to do whatever I want. Kind of makes me sick to my stomach and happy all at the same time. I think I will finally redo that desk I have been dreaming about and depending on how smoothly that goes....I might work on that old dresser that has been sitting in our garage for over a year. We'll see. Then we have our beach trip to look forward too as well! Can't wait.

My Sisters Keeper

Don't worry I don't give any of the story away......


So I read the book My Sister's Keeper over the span of about 5 days. I was not really even sure I wanted to read it but I knew the movie was coming out and I figured I might as well since my mom had the book and books are usually better than the movie. As soon as I started reading it, I wanted to hurry up and finish it. And I don't mean that in a good way. I don't know if it was the style of the writing, or that I read it even though I usually don't like fiction or that it was not something written by C.S Lewis but I was just completely bored. I forced my self to finish it though because I guess I can't just stop something that I started. I have to go full circle. For some reason though I just never really connected to the book or the characters, even though at times the story was very grabbing. I can think of maybe 4 or 5 scenes in the book that were really really good. Other wise the writer fell short for me. I like books whose words come alive and who phrase things so beautifully that it's like reading art. I mean I could still envision what I was reading in my head but they already had faces and to me that took away from it a bit. Most of the time, I was just longing to get to the end so I could know what happens and be done with it. Maybe it was too many story lines going on at once when she could have had a more narrow focus to really make an impact with that story. Don't get me wrong.....I shed some tears but for what that story was, I should have been sobbing. I don't know.....I'm no writer and I am definitely no literary critic either. I'm just a stay at home mom, whom some think rank at the lowest end of the totem pole, who thought it looked like a good movie and possibly a better book but, I was wrong. I don't feel any better or like I improved myself for having read it and so to me it just seems like a waste of time. I wonder if this time the movie might be better.

Que sera sera

I am bad about writing something on here and then forgetting to follow it up. So for those of you that have asked about the MRI, it came out completely normal. What a huge weight that was lifted off my shoulders. So I can rest assure that there is no degenerative muscle/nerve disease going on like MS, or ALS or Parkinsons. I twitch..... that's all. Thank you LORD!

Now that I know that I am a okay......I surely do have BABY on the brain. I sure do miss Bella when she was little and so cute and I am finding my self seriously wanting a baby again. I mean I love the freedom that I have now, but that will come again in time and 3 just seems like a nice round number. I don't know......... In a week or so.....I'll probably snap back to reality. But just look how cute she was........and Fat!





















Bella @ 7 months old

So yeah....it would cause some major changes in our life and would completely throw us upside down for a while......but it's kind of now or never. I'm not getting any younger and it would be our last chance at having that little boy! 3 girls would be totally fine too. We shall see.......

One of a kind

He simply is the best person I've known my whole life.

He is the glue that held us all together.

He goes above and beyond for his girls and set the bar so high, I'm not sure anyone can ever really reach it.

He's the one that can comfort me, when it seems I can't be comforted.

He's the one that prays and has faith that never waivers when mine is being tested.

He's the one that taught me about God and about his son Jesus.

He's the one that I can go to with my innermost fears ( still) and they will be quieted.

He's the one that I can depend on and he will never disappoint.

He's the one that can make me laugh for days because he mixes up his words or phrases.

He has the purest heart and most humble nature.

He's like no other.

He is my father.

Charming Aliens

I had an interesting start to my day. I was kidnapped by extra terrestrials and forced upon their spaceship and was subjected to some testing so that they could learn more about my human brain. The aliens were very nice and only slightly ghoulish looking......The one that inserted my IV was tattooed and reeked of smoke so I guess even Aliens can be rebels because it was very clear that he was an " alternative" alien. I wasn't scared but I was quite concerned with what they might find. They had to inject me with some sort of dye but they assured me that the dye was not harmful in anyway, shape or form and would not kill me unless I was allergic. Oh, okay....well inject away then! They said it would help with the images. Okay, okay wait....I wasn't actually kidnapped by aliens. But that's how I felt and I only pretended that's what was going on when I had to have a MRI of my brain done this morning. And aliens did not perform the MRI, it was a doctor. But the part about the being that inserted the IV was totally true. He was covered in tattoos and reeked of smoke! But as I was laying there in this cylinder shaped contraption my brain starting getting imaginative and I was feeling like I was in some sort of space whatsa mathingy. Yes, I might be crazy and maybe the MRI will prove that but most importantly hopefully it will either confirm my worst fears or let me be at peace with normal results. I'm praying for the latter.

After my MRI I treated myself to a Caramel Machiato,( many moons since I had one of those) non fat of course, and headed to do a little retail therapy......ALONE! Oooohhhh....maybe I was/am in some sort of alternate universe.............no, Gary is off today and he stayed home with the girls( they totally missed out on the Aliens) and I ran to a few stores. One which was called Charming Charleys. If you have not been there, you must! It was jewelry and accessories galore and they had some of the cutest shoes and dresses and it was all very reasonably priced. I think I just found my new favorite accessory store. After stopping a few more places, and running into an old high school friend, I headed home. Men sure don't do things the way we women do, do they?? I come home to find Gary napping! Surprise, surprise. Bella was watching a movie and Hannah was just playing in her room. Haha....I just had to laugh. Hey, I'm not going to complain, I had a whole morning to myself and as long as the girls were fed, and safe......Gary did a good job.

So that's been my day. I hope to enjoy the rest of the day hanging out with the family ( when Gary wakes up from his nap) taking it easy and anxiously awaiting my results from the Aliens.... oops......I mean doctors.

Day 8

Well I would say we are pretty close to being finished. Haha....I say " we" like I did some of the work. Gary's dad has been working hard on this since yesterday morning and managed to get all the tiles cut and layed and my dad did the grout work today( Gary had to work). The tiles that were layed today will have to be grouted tomorrow and Gary's dad has to leave so this means Gary will have to do the last little bit himself. After the grout work will be the caulking and then cleaning the tiles all up and sealing them one last time to keep them shiny. All the major work will be done by Monday and then the counter top people have to come back and buff a few spots that have scratches and finish smoothing in some areas they left unfinished. Goodness.....my kitchen is a MESS! I've been really good though and not stressing about it and being very patient and I know that all this dirt and mess will be worth it in the end when all is said and done. Wednesday the cleaning lady comes so my house should be all spic and span clean and our newly remodeled kitchen can shine! And don't telly anybody but we are totally skipping church in the morning. Shhh....