I'm not sure if it's common knowledge that I am not the most social person in the world. I think if you have at least met me once that you might catch the drift. Not that I try to emit "stay away from me" vibes or anything but I have been told a time or two that I am kind of just quiet......aloof. Not all there. I assure you, I am. My brain just operates at 500miles an hour and when you are trying to carry on a conversation with me I have wandered off into lala land and that accounts for the blank stare because I probably have no idea what you are talking about. So it's just easier to not talk to people. I can't count the times people have told me they think I'm a snob! Ouch. I'm not a snob, I don't think I am better than anyone else so much as I think that I am not. Going back to, I think it was high school........I've never been one to enjoy being around large crowds, making mindless chit chat about the weather or in high school about getting drunk and partying. It's when I started feeling kind of like an outsider or like something was wrong with me because I did not seem to fit in with all the other kids my age. I had no interest in their immature shenanigans and I guess that made ME weird. Anyway.......WOW.... Okay so just to be to the point.....Yeah, I'm not all that social of a person. Or maybe I am, I just have a hard time finding people I actually can relate to or that I actually want to relate to. Oh my goodness.......maybe I am a snob! It has nothing to do with the fact that I don't like people because on the contrary I do. I like people very much. I just get caught up in this mind game with myself that I won't bother typing out but the scenario typically plays out in my head and usually ends up with....Monica, you're lame and people don't like you. I always think people don't like me....and it probably in turn makes people not like me. You see?? Yes, it's very difficult living with a mind like mine.....but it's what I got and so I must find a way to get on. So all that to say that I somehow found myself organizing and hosting a "party" and I am terrified! I mean what in the world did I get myself into? Oh Dear Lord please give me the brain function of a normal person for this party and let me get through it with as little internal conflict as possible. Agh!!! What if people don't come? I can't believe I am putting myself out there so that when people deny the invite I can carry it all on my shoulders . Then I will really wallow in lameville.
I can't believe I just admitted this for who ever reads this to read. Oh and I was kidding......I'm really listening to you when you talk to me.
; )
5 comments:
Right there with you Moni, except when I drift, my eyes glaze and I also try to hide a yawn. I call it "lack of oxygen". Good luck with the party.
Oh my goodness you crack me up babe. And don't worry, if anyone declines the invitation to your purse party I will bust them up. : )
You are too funny! Hope your party turns out great!! Wish I could be there for it! :)
You're so silly - your party will be a huge success. And don't worry, people definitely like you!
yes it will be so much fun.
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