April 18th

So I'm mentally preparing myself for the weekend of April 18th. Why? Because my gallant husband informed me he asked his parents to come down for that weekend to stay with the girls so we can celebrate our 4th wedding anniversary. Yeah!!!!! I'm thinking we will get to go out to dinner to a really nice restaurant and have a great date night. I'm delighted. He tells me not only that, but we are going to go "away" for a night. WHAT????? A rush of emotions envelop me and my brain first goes to.......BUT we can't leave Bella alone over night! Are you crazy?? I've grown accustom to the fact that every other weekend Hannah is with her dad and I'm used to that, and besides she is almost 8 and is old enough for a night away from me...but Bella??? Oh man....I have not spent a night away from her yet and the very thought is overwhelming. He then tells me this is why he is giving me a few weeks to mentally prepare because we are going to have an entire evening to ourselves. Don't get me wrong, I am ecstatic at the idea of that...but to think that Bella might cry for me at bedtime is more than I can handle. How will she function with out me??? I know, I know that's silly and I need to get over it...right? She's a big girl ...not a little baby. But it's still hard for me because she is after all MY baby. At the same time, I am completely excited about getting to do something out of the ordinary and getting my husbands full and complete attention with out being interrupted by the kids. Wow....we will be able to have a conversation with out being interrupted 37 times. Wow......we will get to enjoy eachother's company. Wow....this is going to be.......I don't even know the word to describe what it's going to be, so we shall see.

Alex Jones

So I have this relative who is a die hard Alex Jones fanatic. She has been completely brainwashed by this man and his whole movement. She is convinced that the government is out to kill us, that they were responsible for 9/11 and that there is this New World Order that is going into effect and basically the world is going to be coming to an end very very soon for most of us. She tries to tell my mom that she needs to be stocking up on food because we are about to go into a recession and a depression greater than the Great Depression that hit in the late 1920's. She said there will be extreme food shortages and our country will be thrown into great chaos. Martial Law will go into effect blah , blah , blah. She talks about some scary stuff. She was also completely convinced that 8 years ago (Y2K) our world was coming to an end and encouraging us to stock up on food and water and pretty much just saying the same things then, that she is saying now. Obviously 8 years ago that did not come to pass so it has me wondering why she would still believe in this crazy stuff. She lives her life in complete fear and preparation for these things to happen. This is all she talks about. I must admit I believe there may be an ounce of truth in all these crazy things this man proclaims about our government, but he takes them to an extreme and turns things into something they are not. He's got to be one of the biggest conspiracy theorist out there. I wonder if anyone else buys into this. Does anyone?

The Bug Diet

Don't read this if you are squeamish about bugs! My day has been completely ruined by one. I don't know why I have such a stong affliction with bugs. Namely...those nasty cockroachy, waterbug types. This morning to start my day off I get to see a bug crawling across my kitchen floor. My first reaction, with out thinking is to stomp on it but it crawls fast so I'm semi-chasing this bug across the kitchen. I finally get it against the wall and I'm bellying up the nerve to crush it. I had my big boots on so I'm tapping it hard enough to at least hurt it so it can no longer crawl but this freak is stronger than I thought and it takes me like 5 times to paralyze it. Yuck , yuck yuck. There it lays......not dead but not fully alive either. I figure it has to just lay there until Gary gets home because there is just no way possible I can pick it up. BUT this thing trys to start crwaling again so I just squashed it! Ewww........ I can hear the crunch and all and I just about jump out of my own skin. I can not believe I just squashed this bug. I am however the same girl that abandoned my car on the side of the road and walked about half a mile to the nearest pay phone( this was in 1995 before cell phones ) and called my then boyfriend to please come pick me up because as I was driving, a bug, the same kind I just squashed, crawled across my foot. This was when I lived in Dallas and I was 100% convinced that those bugs were stalking me because every where I went there was one taunting me. I SWEAR.
Anyway....after hearing that crunch I have not been able to eat today because when I try all I can think about is that crunch noise and I can't bear to finish eating it and must spit it out because I feel like I am eating that bug. Yuck. Sorry, I know that's disgusting but that's been my day today. I can't help but think how mental I must be and feeling like I'm a bit on the crazy side. I mean who let's bugs do this to them?? Is anyone else as crazy as me? Probably not........ Poor Gary. The things he has to put up with in me.

Thirst

How do you obey your thirst when you're not even sure what you're thirsty for? I think I have been feeling spiritually thirsty and I don't know how to satisfy this. I'm not even sure this is even a real thirst. I go to church, I pray daily, I have my dialogue with GOD, I do what it is I feel like I should be doing regarding my walk with Christ. Yet I still thirst. I want more..... I start to wonder if maybe it's my church. This troubles me down to my toes because I Love my pastor. I have learned so much from him and from his sermons to even consider leaving brings me a feeling of guilt. Like how dare I even consider that. I am so comfortable at our church....we've attended for 5 years now, we know everyone and we are involved....but still something is missing. I don't feel I am growing spiritually. Can you outgrow a church? How do you stay satisfied with the same water over and over and over. Is this something I should rely on my own self for? Does this even have to do with my church? Is it something I should talk to my pastor about? It's probably not his job to make sure I am spiritually fulfilled. How do you quench such a thirst?

She's back

This past Friday we got our dog, Sophie back. She has been living with Gary's parents for the past 10 months due to us selling our last home and doing the whole apartment living thing. I was hoping the stay with his parents was going to be permanent because I was tired of the mess that comes along with having a dog. And she used to jump on my couches which drove me insane! I like my house to be clean and having a dog makes that diffucult. His parents got tired of having her because she would terrorize their cats and so she had to be tied up when outside or else she would just go crazy. Anyway....she's a pretty good dog, very gentle with the girls and with children in general. I just had extremely mixed feelings about getting her back because of the whole cleanliness thing, but so far so good. She has been home 5 days and has been on her best behavior. She better continue it or she's outta here~ Hahaha.....I know I know...I'm mean.

Chocolate Bunny Humor

Back in the day

I was unpacking some boxes this morning and came across a box with tons of pictures inside it. I LOVE looking at pictures so it distracted me a little. I came across pictures that dated back to the mid 70's....when I was a baby and when I was a little girl. I got a big kick out of this one in particular because it's me and my dad and It appears as though I am just hanging out in the front seat of the car while he's driving or about to be driving. Do you know what an outrage this would cause today?? It does not even look like my dad is buckled because the seat belt seems to be pinned to the top of the car. Times have changed for sure!

Just wanted to say

To my wonderful Hubby. Wow....I can't believe you're 35.

Clothes that should Rest in Peace

So I have this pair of jeans that are my favorite pair of jeans. They fit just the way I like and they are comfortable and they just feel like a good pair of jeans should. However they are quite worn and have paint spots all over them and they have holes in the knees from too much wear and tear. The ends are all tattered and frayed and they are extremely faded. AND I promise these jeans are not an attempt to be trendy. They look like this because....well it's just how they look. Still, I love them. I can not bear to throw them away or to stop wearing them even though they look like they belong in the garbage. I still wear them in public....probably to the embarrassment of my husband. I mean he has not said anything about them....so I figure they are fine. He's really only ever told me something had to go one time and that was a pair of pants I owned. They were these grey cotton pants that I wore all the time....mostly to exercise and at home but they were so torn up and stretched and the string to hold them up would come out ....so I would use a safety pin to hold them up. The pant leg was ripped up all the way to the knee....but still. I loved them. He finally told me that he thought those pants would make good rags to wash the car with! Ugh.....whatever. I still have them but was finally able to let them RIP. They still sit in my drawer....I refuse to throw them away. Maybe I will pull them out today just to see what he does....hahahahah. Anyway back to the jeans.....these are still wearable ( I think ) and he has not said anything yet so maybe that's why I think they are still okay to wear. Do you have a pair of jeans or a piece of clothing like that? Has your husband or wife ever threatened to throw away or use any of your clothes for rags to wash the car?? Or even....does your hubby/wife have a pair of pants or piece of clothing that you have to say...it's time for that to go??? Just wondering.

Priceless

2.5 years of sharing our bed - hard but worth it.
2nd nap in her big girl bed - wonderful but sad.

Yes, many will think we are nuts for sharing our bed with our child for 2.5 years but she is now transitioning to sleeping in her own bed. Starting with naptime first.

Awwwww......

Hannah's Song

This is the song Hannah wrote. I thought it was just too cute not to share. If you're a parent you will probably understand that everything your kids do is genius. Notice she stated words by her and also the "beet" was by her as well. If you click on the song you can see it bigger. Too funny.

Waitress

Yesterday I got to do something that I rarely ever get to do and that is watch a movie. I crawled in bed with Bella during her nap time and watched the movie Waitress. Overall I thought it was a cute movie but it sure did stir up some emotions in me. Funny how a movie can do that to you. Songs can do that to me as well. The main character reminded me of myself about 9 or so years ago. Stuck in a marriage that I was very miserable in and about to have a child( except I did not have an affair ) I thought the main character Jenna, captured so well that look and feeling of a woman so unhappy in her life but unable to get out and move on. It took the birth of her daughter to give her that courage. The movie just reminded me so much of my life back then and that it took me having my daughter Hannah to give me the courage to want a better life for her and for myself. I don't at all condone divorce and it's something that I am ashamed I have as part of my past but I have no regrets at all. I think of the sad life she and I would have had if I had stayed in that relationship and I have to believe that God has forgiven me. I would hope that he would not be mad at me for wanting to get out of a mentally draining and verbally and sometimes abusive relationship. Anyway... that's it......just seeing that movie made me think about my past and even though it's something I don't like thinking about too much I know right now I am a stronger person for having come through something like that. If you have not seen the movie I recommend it. It's funny and sad and happy all at the same time. Definitely a chick flick!

Baby Fever

Every now and then I get baby fever and have this desire to go through the whole experience of having a child. It's probably one of the most trying things to go through, especially if you have natural childbirths as I have, but in the end you have this little bundle of joy and they are perfect in your eyes and it makes all the aches and pain worth it. I just keep going back and forth as to whether or not I REALLY want another child or am I just enamoured with my new nephew because he is so cute and cuddly and I just want to eat him up. Gary said I am not allowed to be around my sister and her baby anymore. He's funny but he's probably right. All I have really seen my nephew do is sleep and smile. In reality I know it's a lot of work to start over. Probably more work than I would care to do. So for now I guess I will just be thankful I have my two healthy girls and just leave it in Gods hands to let me know for sure what the best thing is to do. I am sure by next week I will be back to being absolutely sure I am done with babies and the fever will be gone.

And now a word from my husband

Let me first say I am not a "blogger," but my bride insists this will be a good forum for me to vent my frustrations this morning. It's only 10:00, and already twice today I have had to bite my tongue due to ignorant members of the voting public rambling on about the virtues of their favorite democrat presidential candidate. These people were not addressing me -- I only overheard their conversations. Had they addressed me specifically I would not have hesitated to make my strong opinions known. But since I did not have that opportunity, Monica said I should do so here in her blog. So here goes.

First, let me speak to all of the "promises" and "hope" being thrown about by the democrat candidates (has anyone taken out a calculator to try and figure out how in the heck we are going to pay for all of this?!?! Do you want your taxes to DOUBLE over the next four years?!?!) I subscribe to the theory that when it comes to people of able bodies and minds, a hand "up" is much more beneficial than a handout. In other words, I believe you truly help someone when you enable them to help themselves, e.g. providing job-skills training instead of a welfare check. I believe allowing people who have the ability to work to become dependent on government "entitlements" discourages the will to succeed and prosper. America is one of the few countries in the world where everyone of sound mind and body has an opportunity to make something of themselves, and in fact, that opportunity has allowed us to become the greatest nation in the history of the world. To clarify, I do believe there are people who are simply in need of a handout at times -- but I don't believe it's the government's role to provide it. I think we would all be better off if everyone took responsibility for providing for their neighbors, co-workers and friends when in need, and let our faith-based organizations fill in any gaps.

Along those same lines, I believe the less government involvement we have in our daily lives the better off we are (I know I risk sounding like a Ron Paul fan here -- but I think he has got it right on this issue). I have no need or desire for a "nanny state" government to provide for my needs -- including but not limited to healthcare, education, or social security programs. The free market can and will provide everything we need, and will do so much more efficiently than any government entity ever could -- IF the government will stay out of the way and let the system work.

At the risk of rambling on, let me lastly touch on one other "hot-button" issue -- the war on terror. To those that say we have no business in Iraq or Afghanistan, I say how quickly we forget. September 11 was not that long ago. Should we simply turn our cheek and let the terrorists recruit and plot more attacks against us anywhere they chose? I say that's short-sighted. These people believe they are going to receive a heavenly reward for KILLING AMERICANS. I credit George Bush with keeping our country secure for the last 6 years. Whatever it takes, we must not allow these madmen to attack the United States again. I subscribe to the philosophy that it takes rooting them out and destroying them where they are.

Yes, all of this conservatism comes from someone that attended UT -- thank goodness I did not drink the liberal Kool-Aid!

That said, I don't necessarily think either of the candidates are favorable to the other. I know this is probably wrong on a number of levels, but it's kind of funny -- when Bella hears someone say Barak Obama on the radio or TV, she says "he's a mean man" and when she hears them say Hillary Clinton she says "she's a mean old witch!" And then she says "Papa, do they want to take all of yours money?" hahaha) I do predict Clinton will be the eventual nominee, because I believe she will do whatever it takes -- including lying, begging, borrowing, cheating or outright stealing to get the nomination. But Obama, eloquent though he may be, scares the daylights out of me also. Did you know he has the most liberal voting record of anyone in the entire senate -- including the goofball senator from Vermont, Bernie Sanders, who publicly describes himself as a SOCIALIST!!

Okay I realize this is probably too long for a blog -- my bride can edit me if she wants to, after all this is her blog ;-)

But you were right babe, I do feel better after letting out this steam here. Now I just have to avoid contact with anymore knucklehead liberals today and eveything will be just fine.

Oh, I guess it's not right to make a political blog posting and not say who I voted for (anyone that knows me well or has seen the bumper-sticker on my truck over the last 6 months already knows). I cast my ballot during early voting for Mike Huckabee, despite the fact that it is virtually impossible for him to win the nomination at this point. I felt a need to vote for the person I felt was the best candidate. I don't have as many bones to pick with John McCain as a lot of right-wingers do, I just honestly feel that Huckabee is the best candidate. I still have hopes that maybe he will get the vice-presidential nod, or at least wind up in a great position to run again down the road.

That's my Super Tuesday II two-cents worth. Feel free to let me know if you think it's over-priced.

Last but not least, if you have not already done so -- GO VOTE!!!

So we got KO'd

Boy did we get knocked out. I know I know....not another rat blog right. This is the last time I will talk about these darn rats ( maybe ) UGH!! I am just ready to be done with this. Who knew that rats were these highly evolved thinkers and no longer fall for the common rat trap. They are way too smart for that. Gary's 2nd and 3rd attempt at capturing these puzzling creatures left us scratching our heads. Hmm.... Apparently the rats are 50 times smarter than we are. So we get a professional out to the house today to get an estimate and see what it's going to take to get rid of them once and for all and it looks like it's going to take 750 dollars. What???? You're kidding me. Nope! Evidently it's a 2 step process. First setting professional style traps that will actually trap these monsters. Oh and by the way, these rats are probably way bigger than we realized. That's nice to know. So they will then have to cover up the holes that these rats are crawling into to get into the attic. Yeah....they don't actually live in our attic but they come and go as they please. Who knew.... Well I didn't know. Anyhow the whole process will cost us the 750 plus a few weeks of setting the traps and then them coming and disposing of their evil bodies. What I don't get is they want to wait to cover the holes up until after they have the traps set. That seems backwards to me...but then I don't know much about killing rats do I. The Success rate....85%. Goodness......I am telling you this is turning out to be way bigger of a headache than I originally thought. But wait...I saved the best for last....Instead of using this professional company to do all the work and take care of the problem for us. My super hero husband ( he thinks he can do any and everything ) wants to try to do it himself to save some money. Eye yi yeye...... here we go again. I love my husband and he is mighty talented at many, many things. I am not so sure that killing rats is one of them. Sorry babe. So I am left wondering if we should just have this done professionally or do I let my husband go at these rats? What do you think?

US vs THEM round 1

So Gary set the Rat traps yesterday. A good friend suggested we use peanut butter to lure the rats to the trap. So Gary set 5 rat traps in several different locations in the attic. Last night we were hanging out upstairs and we actually heard one of the traps go off. YES!
Today Gary goes back in the attic to check the traps. All 5 traps are peanut butter free and amazingly rat free as well.
Round 1 goes to the rats.
I guess rats are pretty clever.

US - 0
Rats - 1