BELLA

First let me say you probably should not read this if you are pregnant or if you do not have children, or if you are squeamish about birth! Proceed with extra caution.
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Wow.....well 3 years ago today I was in Labor at this very moment. I guess about 12:30 am I woke up with contractions but was not really sure if they were real contractions or not....I went to the bathroom and got back in bed and could not go back to sleep for the rest of the night. Around 3 am I was still having the contractions and they were pretty regular but not too painful. I had a 8:30 Dr.apt that morning so figured I would just let the Dr. know what was going on and then go from there. I was already 8 days overdue so I was pretty sure this was it. The Dr. examined me and I was just about 1 cm dilated but she hooked me up to a monitoring machine to see if she could see what the contractions were doing.....and sure enough they were coming every 5 minutes or so and she was sure I was in Labor and wanted me to go straight to the hospital. Ummm.....not so fast. I had not even eaten breakfast so I asked if it was okay to go grab some breakfast and then go to the hospital after that. She did not like the idea but reluctantly obliged. I mean come on.....who can tell a pregnant women no. So my mom, Gary and I went and had a delicious breakfast at La Madeleine all the while wearing our nerves. I had a doula who advised me to take my time as much as I could because she did not want me to do too much early labor at the hospital. She claimed the less time you're there the better. I agreed! So we took our time and I think we finally made it to the hospital and checked in around 11:30. They of course wanted to check everything out...blood pressure, baby's heart beat, my blood pressure ...you know all that good stuff. I was at a 3.5 cm and Bellas heart tones were nice and strong as they should be. I was adamant that I did not want to be confined to the bed hooked up to the iv and monitors and such. They did not really like my way of doing things but ultimately let me do it how I wanted. I was not trying to be difficult I just had an exact vision of how I wanted things and knew I did not want to have a typical assembly line birth where everything is done so matter of fact and to accommodate the staff. I was the one in control here. I wanted the freedom to walk around, to use my birthing ball,to slow dance to my cd's I made with Gary or to get in the shower if I wanted. I bet they hate women like me. Oh well! My doula, Gary and I walked the halls of the hospital and did some kind of exercises that are supposed to help bring the Baby down where she needs to be. We're relaxed and just doing different things to pass the time all the while, I'm having contractions about every 3 minutes and they were lasting about 30-45 seconds but they were getting stronger and stronger! Some so strong, I would have to stop and hold real still until it passed. We used the shower, she sprayed warm water on my back....I was having some serious back pain, we used the birthing ball for a while and around 3:30 or so they wanted to check progress again.....I had only dilated to a 5 cm which was a little discouraging to me because I was really starting to be in severe pain and had hoped for a quick Labor than was happening. I had Hannah only 4 hours after arriving at the hospital and this was going on 4 hours and I had expected it to be the same, if not faster. My doctor and doula both knew for sure that I would have her fast so this whole time, that's what I had in my mind. Well it was not going as I thought and I started to get a little discouraged but did not really let that show too much. I just kept doing what my doula and Dr. said to do....and that meant who knows how many more hours of Labor. 2 more long, painful hours went by and around 6:30 my water broke. I was using the birthing ball when that happened.....I was in A LOT of pain and I remember thinking that I possibly had pottied on myself due to focusing on the contractions.....but that was not the case THANK GOD, it was my water breaking. I would have been so embarrassed if I had. This was when the fun really began......once that water breaks....it's all business. The next few hours were pure torture for me. I mean this pain I had to endure was so bad, I would cry because I wanted it to be over, I wanted to give up, I asked my doula if there was any way possible I could have something for the pain. She quickly said No and tried to distract me and get me to focus again on what I was doing. There was a while there when I just wanted to die. I was done....that's it, get this baby out of me! They call this period Transition and this is usually the time when you get so tired and you are in so much pain, you're frustrated but if you just focus and push through that.....you're almost at the end. 7:30 and there I am lying on the bed on my left side now because everything else was just too painful and I had only gotten to a 7-8 centimeters! The tears come and by this point I am completely frustrated because I'm feeling feeling this is just taking way to long and I'm just done with it....hahaha like that's really an option. I was having contraction after contraction with maybe a few seconds in between. Another hour and a half of that....just laying there, taking one contraction at a time, hurting, pleading with God, wondering why I had to endure this kind of pain and why for this long. This by far was the hardest thing I ever had to endure. Around 9 I finally tell them that it's time to start pushing and they say no, it's not quite time and I just said I HAVE TO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.....I HAVE to get this child out now! So they let me start pushing. I'm not having much luck and everyone is telling me to push and then stop pushing, then push again and then they need me to push even harder because she is not coming down as she should and finally after over an hour of pushing she is born. 10:06 pm!!!!

All that hard work for this very moment. Gary was supposed to cut the cord but for some reason they did not let him and I waited for them to bring her to me but they didn't. Then I notice the Dr. starts to panic which makes me panic....they start rushing around, I'm freaking out, they are injecting me with who knows what and I asked my Doula to please get my mother in the room! I ask them if I am okay and was I dying or something....all the while they are not really saying anything. I hear the doctor order someone to get an operating room prepared.....It was horrible! It all happened so fast and I was terrified, my mom was terrified and who knows what Gary was( he does not share his emotions) but they finally get everything under control and they are having to give me blood but thankfully everything settled down. Apparently they could not get the bleeding to stop and I lost a large amount of blood and they almost had to do an emergency hysterectomy because my uterus was not contracting like it should. It eventually did Thank God! It was the scariest few minutes of my life. One of those moments where you think about your whole life and how it could be over just like that. Finally, 40 minutes after she was born I got to hold her. All those long and hard hours of labor and here she is. She's perfect! Then they tell me she weighs 9 lbs 2 ounces and I am in shock. They also say she came out face up and baby's are supposed to be face down and that is why the labor was so hard. She did not look like a newborn, she was sooooo chubby and swollen and her face is puffy and her face was all bruised. Poor baby was all smashed together so tight in her Mommy's belly. The funniest thing was that she looked just like her daddy! Awe man....you're telling me I suffered for 10 long months of carrying her around inside me and went through this crazy labor and almost bled to death and she's going to look like her dad! That's mean. My doula tells me I had one of the hardest Labors ever and that when the baby is positioned like Bella was that makes things extremely difficult and no one can believe I did it, and not only that I did it naturally. But don't be fooled....I can't let people believe that I wanted to do this naturally. I had to. I'm one of the few lucky women not allowed to have an epidural. I have a blood disorder that prohibits me from being able to have one because if I did it would more than likely lead to permanent paralysis. Something to do with my blood not clotting like it should which is why I bled so much. So yeah, I think I'll pass and just endure the pains of labor and hope and pray I don't bleed to death. Bella was completely worth all I went through to get her here. She has given me so much Joy and I love her more than I could ever describe! She is my lovely Princess Bella Grace. Happy 3rd Birthday sweet baby girl. Mommy loves you so much!